Have you ever been so broken, so alone that you have no choice but to break out of your protective bubble? You don't know what you want, but you just know you have to try something before you lose your mind.

My 20th birthday came and went. With it came the realization that I was still a frightened child inside, hiding from intimacy. Scared to give myself to anyone; terrified of allowing anyone any kind of control over me. The shame of my childhood still burnt heavily into my skin.

I had never dated; I was still a virgin. My stepfather had done pretty much everything except penetrate me. I guess in his mind that allowed himself some sense of innocence.

***

In 11th grade when I had to transfer...