When I look in the mirror,I compare,when I meet friends and family,I contrast.
when I think about my future sometimes,I'm in despair,
when I look at my present and past,I'm downcast.
Most of the time,depression sets in and I try not to let it show;so mastered the skill of faking a smile I do not know a real one.
I bury myself in other people's lives,helping out and sorting out,that way I'm distracted from looking at how messed up my life is...scratch that my brain.
Then again no matter how far you go,you must always come home,in that home lies my reality,
So I take up an endless vacation in my head,
although I know it will still come to an end,it's worth the try.
Everyone wants a good life,not everyone was born into one;I wish,I dream,I fantasize,then I come back to reality that with how messed up my life is;
My dreams may not come true,
I may never be enough for anyone,
may never feel confident in public,
I may never stop feeling how I feel,
may never see the star people see,
may never be bold enough to lend my heart out,
moreso open the cage it's perfectly locked in,
I'm still that ordinary girl,hiding behind that thick skin,dressed in black and boots with a poker face on.
My chi tells me to have hope,some people's star are meant to shine now and fade later,some meant to shine later and keep shining on till their body wears out and their soul returns home.
If mine isn't shining now,I sure know what it means;
there's a light at the end of the tunnel,
it's not the Train's light,
it's my escape route.
© Nehita baht