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When The Diamond Falls
This isn't your avarge love story. No rainbows, no unicorns, no happy ever after. I wrote this story to inspire my readers. for those who get judged by their story and not seeing the real person behind the mask.
It all started on a beautiful sunny morning, only to be awaken by this annoying sound from my alarm clock. as I struggled to wake up, I reached over to turn it off. but that wasn't the only thing noisy in a broke down apartment in New York, City. As I try to drift back to sleep, my cellphone rings. I growl in an annoying sound and anwser the phone. "Hello.." I said dry as a dessert, rubbing my eyes. "Girl, don't tell me you still in the bed, girl if you don't get ur monkey ass up, and please stop moping about that lame nigga Damien." My best friend of eleven years, said, who is also my adopted sister. "Girl, ain't nobody worried about no Damien, shit, I was getting my beauty sleep." I said, trying to brush off a lie. I had to admit, I was still inlove with him. I was in love with him when he threw me through a window, for complimenting his homeboy haircutt. I love him still when he would bring his little play boy bunny around his family. Hell I looked like a dam fool, and his family knew his dirt and would tell me. One day it was too much, he abandon me for my birthday to be with that hoe and didn't even considering buyin me anything. He didn't even take me out or remember it was my birthday. while he was out all night, I was crying myself to sleep. The next day, I called my best friend to come get me from this hell. As if I didn't encountered hell in my own home as a young child. My daddy would come in my room every other night and rape me. This bastard had the audacity to kill my own mom in her sleep. when the ambulance came, he lied and told them she died in her sleep. He tried to force tears out his devilish eyes as if he really missed her. what a coward! The man I still loved didn't even show up for support me, she was his momma too, she treated him like her own. Guess his hoes was more important then to come in a need of his ex he known since he was fifteen. "um-hm, anyways are you coming into today, because, holly getting on my last dam nerves." Candice asked. " yeah, I'm on my way, I'll be there in thirty." I said starting my shower. "ok, bye girl."she says. "bye."I said hanging up the phone. The lord knew I did not want to go to work today. I just knew that I would see Damien's face, he knew the days I worked at the old dusty coffee shop, called Dailoons. I need something better then working at this place. I had dreams of becoming a nurse and helping others in my community. But living pay check to pay check wasn't gonna get me there anytime soon. As soon as I walk into the door, there he was. Tired ass, cheating hoe ass nigga Damien. I been trying so hard to get over him. Over and Over again I would hide behind the counter and candice would tell him I wasn't there. Today I had to face him and my fear is falling into his traps. "Amayla....wait, let me talk to you for a second." Damien says, grabbing a hold of my arm. " Boy if you don't let go of my got dam arm, I don't have time for ur bullshit Damien." I said yanking my arm away and walking behind the cash register. "Leave hoe ass nigga, she don't want u." candice said stepping into his personal space. Damien pushed her to the side and said, "so it's like that?" "Nigga don't touch me, it's been like that since your hoe ass wanna fuck around on her, get out!" candice said swinging her hair off her shoulder. "Bet, bitch, you so scary, you can't even talk for yourself, sorry ass." Damien said walking out the door. "Girl, how did u ever deal with that bullshit, hm, I can't get who next in line."candice said. " I honestly don't know." I said shrugging my shoulders. as I looked the other way, I see this tall, dark chocolate with big muscles and fitted six pack man walking towards me. I was lost in his peanut butter brown eyes and his juicy big lips. He fitted that black suit so perfectly. I though I was in a coma as I could see his lips move but no sound coming out. "Miss....um is she okay?" he says to candice. "Amayla! hello!" candice said snapping her fingers. "Oh I'm sorry, what did you order." I said wiping the little drool that came down my mouth. he chuckled a little and said, "Vinalla mocha frappe with extra wipe cream, but not too much, but I was wondering if you may be interested in me taking you out." He says leaning over the counter watching my ass while I fixed his frappe. All my mind could think was it's just the same game but different player. as I walked back over to hand him his coffee, I said, " here you go, two-fiffty." I said trying to be confident. " look I don't know what guy broke ur heart or whatever but I see you here every Wednesday when I walk by from my business, and I just thought u was cute and had to check you out, so what's up, you open to me taking you out."he says taking a sip of his frappe. "Boy bye, all y'all niggas walk and talk the same shit, you ain't fooling no body." I said walking towards the back of the shop. "she been through a lot, her ex really broke her, but look here, leave ur number in the tip box and I promise you she gonna call you, if she don't here her number." candice said writing it down. " alright, make sure she get this." he said, swapping numbers with candice. Candice came to the back off the store on her break. "Girl, what the hell wrong with you, did you fall and bump your head,thats a delicious man, he was interested in you, seriously how you gonna turn a man down like that." candice said pushing me in the shoulder. "Girl whatever, he only want one thing and after he get it, he gone just like all these other niggas." I said crossing my arms. "Amayla rose mongmery, stop playing, I got his number for you, you should give him a chance and call him. she said passing me the card. "Girl, you did what.....Marcus Brown, hm." I said tossing the card behind me. Candice picked it up and stuffed it in my bra. "Call him!" she said, walking back into work. What was I gonna talk to him about. he said he would see me every Wednesday, maybe he's a stalker. what if he's another Damien. After work, I got home and slipped into a hot bath. I was just sitting there contemplating. should I call him or not. Suddenly a unknown number pops up on my phone, who could this be. "Hello.." I answered. "Hey, this Marcus Brown, your little friend gave me your number, hope that's ok." he says. "hm...um-hm, so let me ask you this, are you a stalker?" as I reached for my glass of wine. "Nah I ain't none of that, but I want you, I wanna get to know you, shit, I know u need to feel special to someone, I can take you to places you ain't even seen girl." he says with a chuckle. "Why, you don't even know me." I said. " Thats what I'm trying to do now shawty, let me take you out." he said taking a sip of his hennessy. " Just so you know I do have a gun on me and two adopted brothers." The lord knew I was lying. I didn't even know how to shot a gun, much like hold it right. But he didn't need to know that. "Woah little momma, no need for all that, I'm not even trying to disrespect you or try to hurt you, I just see you been through a lot of things and I just wanna heal that brokenness, let me take you out, show you how a real man treat a queen, all bullshit aside." he says. " I guess." I said rolling my eyes. "Cool, are you free tomorrow night, let say about eight?" he asked. " yeah that's fine." I said, taking another sip of wine.
" alright, tell me the address, I'll pick you up." he says grinning ear to ear grabbing a pen and paper. " fourty-seven west thirteen street, it's a red complex building, I'm on the top floor and room number is 1306." I said putting my hand on my forhead. "Ok cool, well, I hope you enjoy the rest of your night, see ya soon love." he says. "ok bye." I said. "bye babygirl." he said so seductively, hanging up the phone. after I was done with my bath and climbed into bed, I immediately called candice. "Hey girl, what's up?" she said, braiding her cousin nesha's hair. "don't you hey girl me, why you gave Marcus my number?" I said sounding very frustrated. "Don't act like you don't like that man, I did you a favor, he fine like a strawberry dipped in chocolate, what he say anyway." she said, ready for juicy details. "He asked me out on a date tomorrow night, and favors, girl I do not need no saving." I said, with attitude. " Girl yes you do, looking like a homeless girl walking into work like the world came to an end, what did you say?" she asked. " I said I guess." I said flipping through the tv. "Ok, you go bestie, but anyways I gotta finish my cousin hair, so text me later, later girl." she said. " ok bye girl." I said hanging up the phone. There I was laying in bed, all I could think about why this man was so interested in me, me, as if I'm as gorgeous as these top 10 models. He was fine tho, seeing them six packs through his shirt, lawd he gonna cause me into an early heart attack. My insides was jumping inside me and I haven't even touched this man yet. Was it because I longed for a man or was he fucking my mind without having to touch me. I just can't fall for his tricks, I can't bare another heart break, no matter how fine a brother is. Friday night! I was nervous, I was just finishing up my last little touches of my make up and walking to the mirror to check my black sliky dress to fit every curve. I had red bottoms on and my black smooth coconut hair to flow down my back. I suddenly hear a knock on the door. "dame, you look so hot, man, I feel intimidated." he said looking me up and down. "um.. thanks, you look nice as well, but I don't see anything that would be intimidating bout me." I said as we walked towards the car. "you must be looking for one thing since I'm so hot." I said getting into the car. "what makes you think that, see that's what wrong with you broken women, you can't even accept a compliment with out having to think a man just want u for sex, not all men the same, I swear it's always the good guys who get the bad end of the stick and we gotta fix what their ex broke, which makes it hard for us men." he said sitting in the car. "excuse you, us women, smh..I got ur woman alright, y'all men don't understand how hard it is for us to raise kids you don't want, but can be a father to someone else's, you men don't appreciate us, we sacrifice a lot from giving birth and haveing a period, then we gotta take care of you, the kids, the bills, the food, and keep the house clean, nigga please...us men.." I said, I was ready to go back inside. He just another nigga who don't understand what women have to do, just to get by, I can do it by myself I will never need a man, so why should it be easy for you, because u got some dough, fire ass car, what?" I said in rage with my arm crossed. "bitter ass, matter fact, I don't even wanna go on this date, you not even giving a nigga a chance, get out my car shawty." he said. "Gladly!" I yelled, as I got out and slammed the door and walked back to my apartment. I got inside and just sat on the floor as I closed the front door. I called candice, she always had the best advice when it came to men, or should I say hoeology. she struggled to find love in the wrong places, that's how jay, her son came along. everyone calls him little jay jay, he was such a tiny baby, weighing only 3 pounds and 4 ounces. they only grandbaby out of four children. "hey bestie." I said. "Hey girl, how did ur date go honey." she said tasting her gumbo sauce. "Girl, I don't think this gonna work out, I mean we didn't even make it to where ever our date was gonna be at, I got mad and he kicked me out the car." I said. "What you said for him to kick you out the car." candice said. "I had made a comment about him wanting just one thing because he said I was hot and it blow up over portion." I said putting my hand on my forhead. "Girl, are u dumb, he was giving you a compliment, that's a good hard working man, he got his own business, I been there once or too, just to check him out and he doing well for himself baby, that man ain't got time for your mouth, shit if u don't want him, I'll take him, jay jay need a daddy, baby daddy ain't shit." candice said fixing her a bowl of gumbo. "you crazy." I said laughing. "who, not me, you tripping girl, you need to apologize to him, call him." candice said pouring a glass of orange kool-laid. " what, call him, hell no, after he called me bitter, ha your hilarious." I said. " you is bitter, you so trapped into your hurt that damien did, that you missing your opportunity what's right infront your face, you pushing everything away, your not gonna find happiness like that." candice said sitting down at her table. " no I'm not, I can care less wat damien does." I said getting worked up again. "amayla, you need to apologize, not every man is the same, give him a chance to prove that, jayjay! come eat, ok girl put your pride to the side, but I'm bout to stuff my face with this delicious gumbo, so, yeah imma have to call you later." she said. "ok girl, later." I said hanging up the phone. I finally found the strength to walk to my room and just flop myself on my bed. should I let him in to my broken world. what if I open it to him and he breaks me even worser. My pride always gets in the way to let others get close enough to love me. I turned on my back and put in my ear buds and turned on ex-factor by lauryn hill on my phone. I cried in misery, I felt like I'm so far away from happiness. I don't know how this is suppose to go, I've never had real love before. I don't even know what it is, or how to feel it. I slowly closed my eyes and dreamed of being inlove, it was the only way close to it. when the morning came and birds singing, I slowly open my eyes and stretch my arms. another day, wonder what today will bring. Do I dare to find out, not like I have a choice. I decided to get up and ready for work. As I get to my job, I noticed marcus talking and laughing with candice at the register. I see him grab his coffee and then walk past me like I'm some stranger. " hello, I know you ain't just walk past me without speaking." I said turing around to look at him. "oh so you wanna be noticed now, why speak to you, didn't you say all men are the same, so why waste my time on you, matter fact I think maybe you need to work on yourself, but anyways thanks candice for the coffee and chat." he said walking out the door. " he got some nerve telling me wat I need to do, and why you didn't stick up for me, you just let him disrespect me like that." I said with my arms crossed. " hold up, what you not gonna do is come at me sideways, first of all I told you to apologize, second you act like negative nancy because one man did you wrong, marcus shouldn't have to suffer for it, so what you need to do is take that bullshit somewhere else, and fix ur face and that mouth, because honey, you need a reality check." she said rolling her eyes. maybe I was wrong, maybe every man aren't the same. I been through so many dates where the man would wine and dine me. used me and dump me for the next girl. I been through foster homes after foster homes, new home every month or so. thats when had my adopted parents and the three other kids they also adopted. candice, derek, and mark. my adopted parents had died in a car accident, leaving our grandmaw Pattie to raise us until she passed away at fourty. my brother mark was old enough to take care of us and watch over us.mark was 30 and Derek was 23. I was only 10 at the time and candice was 15 with a baby. days was hard sometimes. some days we had to go nights without eating, going shelter to shelter, because we had no money coming in to cover the house mortgage. they didnt hire mark because was a felon due to conspiracy to gang volience and Derek was too much of a weed head. then one of our cousins, pulled mark into the street life and taught him what he need to do to survive. it wasn't the right way, but it sure got us into a nice four bedroom house and cars. we was eating good every night, from lobster to caviar. we was living, my brother was untouchable. I just never had the guts to ask him has he ever hurt anyone. the street life is you either get them or get killed. when I got home I decided to call marcus. "hello." he says. "hey, it's me amayla, look I'm sorry for giving you a hard time, it's just....it's just that, I never had real love presented to me, it's hard for me to trust when I been hurt so much in my life." I said, hoping he forgive me."I mean, I came with respect and you put me in the category of other men who hurt you, and you put your wall up and shut me out, my intentions was good, I didn't want sex from you, it's much bigger then that." marcus said laying down on his couch. "But how do I know your not lying." I asked. "you just gotta trust me, let me prove to you that I'm the man you need. your problems are my problems, I'm here for you, whatever goes between us, gonna stay between us, you feel me." he said. "ok so if I work on trusting you, can we get a rain check?" I said squeezing my eyes closed and crossing my fingers. "of course baby doll, where you wanna go." he said "how about tonight at the jazz club?"I asked. "ok a jazz fan in the building, I like that, what time." he asked " ninish, is that good?" I said blushing. " yeah that's fine, with your sexy ass." he said it so seductively. "ok Mr. smooth daddy, I'll see you then." I said rolling my eyes. "ok halle berry, bye."he said "bye." I said hanging up the phone. I was in to much excitement that I had to call candice. "Girl what you want, I hope it's an apology with your disrespectful ass."candice said watching tv. "Girl I'm sorry, you know you can't stay mad at me long, plus who imma spill the tea too about my date tonight." I said squilling. "What! girl with who?" she asked. "Mr. Brown." I said biting my bottom lip. "Girl you better not mess this up, if you do imma taken him, he gonna know why they call me candy." she said laughing. " girl boo, imma call you later, I gotta get ready." I said "ok best friend, text me tomorrow with details." candice said. "okay girl bye." I said hanging up the phone. I wore a fitted red jumpsuit that fitted every part of my body with a v-neck to show a little cleavage, with black pumps. I sprayed some victoria secret perfume on each side of my neck and between my breast. I looked in the mirror to check my hair and makeup. I heard a knock on the door and I did my model walk to the front door and opens it. "dame, you just keep looking sexier and sexier each time I see you." he said looking me up and down. he leaned in to give me a hug and slowly worked his hands to my ass. I wanted him to stop but he smelled so good and I haven't had a man's touch in so long, it felt so good to be in his arms. it felt so right. "You look nice too in your pimp daddy suit." I said laughing. "oh yeah, well I bet no dude can't move like me." he said doing a little michael jackson move. we both laughed and headed to the car. he opened the car door for me. "Gentleman, hm." I said getting into the car. "if you only knew." he said getting into his car and starting it up. our night has begun. " so are you into jazz music?" I asked to break the silence. " yeah my favorite is louis, bill and gotta have some ella, that soul music right there." he said " oh so you not just a fan, you a fan that's soul is sold to the music." I said. "yeah I grew up around jazz, it's the only thing I had left to remember my mom, she passed away to cancer, my dad never been around, so I'm grandma's baby." he said. " oh...oh I'm sorry to hear that, must of been hard to go through." I said putting my hand on his arm. "I'm good babygirl, I did what I had to do, grandmaw couldn't provide they way I eat, I took the streets, it's faster of way of getting things done,kept my
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It all started on a beautiful sunny morning, only to be awaken by this annoying sound from my alarm clock. as I struggled to wake up, I reached over to turn it off. but that wasn't the only thing noisy in a broke down apartment in New York, City. As I try to drift back to sleep, my cellphone rings. I growl in an annoying sound and anwser the phone. "Hello.." I said dry as a dessert, rubbing my eyes. "Girl, don't tell me you still in the bed, girl if you don't get ur monkey ass up, and please stop moping about that lame nigga Damien." My best friend of eleven years, said, who is also my adopted sister. "Girl, ain't nobody worried about no Damien, shit, I was getting my beauty sleep." I said, trying to brush off a lie. I had to admit, I was still inlove with him. I was in love with him when he threw me through a window, for complimenting his homeboy haircutt. I love him still when he would bring his little play boy bunny around his family. Hell I looked like a dam fool, and his family knew his dirt and would tell me. One day it was too much, he abandon me for my birthday to be with that hoe and didn't even considering buyin me anything. He didn't even take me out or remember it was my birthday. while he was out all night, I was crying myself to sleep. The next day, I called my best friend to come get me from this hell. As if I didn't encountered hell in my own home as a young child. My daddy would come in my room every other night and rape me. This bastard had the audacity to kill my own mom in her sleep. when the ambulance came, he lied and told them she died in her sleep. He tried to force tears out his devilish eyes as if he really missed her. what a coward! The man I still loved didn't even show up for support me, she was his momma too, she treated him like her own. Guess his hoes was more important then to come in a need of his ex he known since he was fifteen. "um-hm, anyways are you coming into today, because, holly getting on my last dam nerves." Candice asked. " yeah, I'm on my way, I'll be there in thirty." I said starting my shower. "ok, bye girl."she says. "bye."I said hanging up the phone. The lord knew I did not want to go to work today. I just knew that I would see Damien's face, he knew the days I worked at the old dusty coffee shop, called Dailoons. I need something better then working at this place. I had dreams of becoming a nurse and helping others in my community. But living pay check to pay check wasn't gonna get me there anytime soon. As soon as I walk into the door, there he was. Tired ass, cheating hoe ass nigga Damien. I been trying so hard to get over him. Over and Over again I would hide behind the counter and candice would tell him I wasn't there. Today I had to face him and my fear is falling into his traps. "Amayla....wait, let me talk to you for a second." Damien says, grabbing a hold of my arm. " Boy if you don't let go of my got dam arm, I don't have time for ur bullshit Damien." I said yanking my arm away and walking behind the cash register. "Leave hoe ass nigga, she don't want u." candice said stepping into his personal space. Damien pushed her to the side and said, "so it's like that?" "Nigga don't touch me, it's been like that since your hoe ass wanna fuck around on her, get out!" candice said swinging her hair off her shoulder. "Bet, bitch, you so scary, you can't even talk for yourself, sorry ass." Damien said walking out the door. "Girl, how did u ever deal with that bullshit, hm, I can't get who next in line."candice said. " I honestly don't know." I said shrugging my shoulders. as I looked the other way, I see this tall, dark chocolate with big muscles and fitted six pack man walking towards me. I was lost in his peanut butter brown eyes and his juicy big lips. He fitted that black suit so perfectly. I though I was in a coma as I could see his lips move but no sound coming out. "Miss....um is she okay?" he says to candice. "Amayla! hello!" candice said snapping her fingers. "Oh I'm sorry, what did you order." I said wiping the little drool that came down my mouth. he chuckled a little and said, "Vinalla mocha frappe with extra wipe cream, but not too much, but I was wondering if you may be interested in me taking you out." He says leaning over the counter watching my ass while I fixed his frappe. All my mind could think was it's just the same game but different player. as I walked back over to hand him his coffee, I said, " here you go, two-fiffty." I said trying to be confident. " look I don't know what guy broke ur heart or whatever but I see you here every Wednesday when I walk by from my business, and I just thought u was cute and had to check you out, so what's up, you open to me taking you out."he says taking a sip of his frappe. "Boy bye, all y'all niggas walk and talk the same shit, you ain't fooling no body." I said walking towards the back of the shop. "she been through a lot, her ex really broke her, but look here, leave ur number in the tip box and I promise you she gonna call you, if she don't here her number." candice said writing it down. " alright, make sure she get this." he said, swapping numbers with candice. Candice came to the back off the store on her break. "Girl, what the hell wrong with you, did you fall and bump your head,thats a delicious man, he was interested in you, seriously how you gonna turn a man down like that." candice said pushing me in the shoulder. "Girl whatever, he only want one thing and after he get it, he gone just like all these other niggas." I said crossing my arms. "Amayla rose mongmery, stop playing, I got his number for you, you should give him a chance and call him. she said passing me the card. "Girl, you did what.....Marcus Brown, hm." I said tossing the card behind me. Candice picked it up and stuffed it in my bra. "Call him!" she said, walking back into work. What was I gonna talk to him about. he said he would see me every Wednesday, maybe he's a stalker. what if he's another Damien. After work, I got home and slipped into a hot bath. I was just sitting there contemplating. should I call him or not. Suddenly a unknown number pops up on my phone, who could this be. "Hello.." I answered. "Hey, this Marcus Brown, your little friend gave me your number, hope that's ok." he says. "hm...um-hm, so let me ask you this, are you a stalker?" as I reached for my glass of wine. "Nah I ain't none of that, but I want you, I wanna get to know you, shit, I know u need to feel special to someone, I can take you to places you ain't even seen girl." he says with a chuckle. "Why, you don't even know me." I said. " Thats what I'm trying to do now shawty, let me take you out." he said taking a sip of his hennessy. " Just so you know I do have a gun on me and two adopted brothers." The lord knew I was lying. I didn't even know how to shot a gun, much like hold it right. But he didn't need to know that. "Woah little momma, no need for all that, I'm not even trying to disrespect you or try to hurt you, I just see you been through a lot of things and I just wanna heal that brokenness, let me take you out, show you how a real man treat a queen, all bullshit aside." he says. " I guess." I said rolling my eyes. "Cool, are you free tomorrow night, let say about eight?" he asked. " yeah that's fine." I said, taking another sip of wine.
" alright, tell me the address, I'll pick you up." he says grinning ear to ear grabbing a pen and paper. " fourty-seven west thirteen street, it's a red complex building, I'm on the top floor and room number is 1306." I said putting my hand on my forhead. "Ok cool, well, I hope you enjoy the rest of your night, see ya soon love." he says. "ok bye." I said. "bye babygirl." he said so seductively, hanging up the phone. after I was done with my bath and climbed into bed, I immediately called candice. "Hey girl, what's up?" she said, braiding her cousin nesha's hair. "don't you hey girl me, why you gave Marcus my number?" I said sounding very frustrated. "Don't act like you don't like that man, I did you a favor, he fine like a strawberry dipped in chocolate, what he say anyway." she said, ready for juicy details. "He asked me out on a date tomorrow night, and favors, girl I do not need no saving." I said, with attitude. " Girl yes you do, looking like a homeless girl walking into work like the world came to an end, what did you say?" she asked. " I said I guess." I said flipping through the tv. "Ok, you go bestie, but anyways I gotta finish my cousin hair, so text me later, later girl." she said. " ok bye girl." I said hanging up the phone. There I was laying in bed, all I could think about why this man was so interested in me, me, as if I'm as gorgeous as these top 10 models. He was fine tho, seeing them six packs through his shirt, lawd he gonna cause me into an early heart attack. My insides was jumping inside me and I haven't even touched this man yet. Was it because I longed for a man or was he fucking my mind without having to touch me. I just can't fall for his tricks, I can't bare another heart break, no matter how fine a brother is. Friday night! I was nervous, I was just finishing up my last little touches of my make up and walking to the mirror to check my black sliky dress to fit every curve. I had red bottoms on and my black smooth coconut hair to flow down my back. I suddenly hear a knock on the door. "dame, you look so hot, man, I feel intimidated." he said looking me up and down. "um.. thanks, you look nice as well, but I don't see anything that would be intimidating bout me." I said as we walked towards the car. "you must be looking for one thing since I'm so hot." I said getting into the car. "what makes you think that, see that's what wrong with you broken women, you can't even accept a compliment with out having to think a man just want u for sex, not all men the same, I swear it's always the good guys who get the bad end of the stick and we gotta fix what their ex broke, which makes it hard for us men." he said sitting in the car. "excuse you, us women, smh..I got ur woman alright, y'all men don't understand how hard it is for us to raise kids you don't want, but can be a father to someone else's, you men don't appreciate us, we sacrifice a lot from giving birth and haveing a period, then we gotta take care of you, the kids, the bills, the food, and keep the house clean, nigga please...us men.." I said, I was ready to go back inside. He just another nigga who don't understand what women have to do, just to get by, I can do it by myself I will never need a man, so why should it be easy for you, because u got some dough, fire ass car, what?" I said in rage with my arm crossed. "bitter ass, matter fact, I don't even wanna go on this date, you not even giving a nigga a chance, get out my car shawty." he said. "Gladly!" I yelled, as I got out and slammed the door and walked back to my apartment. I got inside and just sat on the floor as I closed the front door. I called candice, she always had the best advice when it came to men, or should I say hoeology. she struggled to find love in the wrong places, that's how jay, her son came along. everyone calls him little jay jay, he was such a tiny baby, weighing only 3 pounds and 4 ounces. they only grandbaby out of four children. "hey bestie." I said. "Hey girl, how did ur date go honey." she said tasting her gumbo sauce. "Girl, I don't think this gonna work out, I mean we didn't even make it to where ever our date was gonna be at, I got mad and he kicked me out the car." I said. "What you said for him to kick you out the car." candice said. "I had made a comment about him wanting just one thing because he said I was hot and it blow up over portion." I said putting my hand on my forhead. "Girl, are u dumb, he was giving you a compliment, that's a good hard working man, he got his own business, I been there once or too, just to check him out and he doing well for himself baby, that man ain't got time for your mouth, shit if u don't want him, I'll take him, jay jay need a daddy, baby daddy ain't shit." candice said fixing her a bowl of gumbo. "you crazy." I said laughing. "who, not me, you tripping girl, you need to apologize to him, call him." candice said pouring a glass of orange kool-laid. " what, call him, hell no, after he called me bitter, ha your hilarious." I said. " you is bitter, you so trapped into your hurt that damien did, that you missing your opportunity what's right infront your face, you pushing everything away, your not gonna find happiness like that." candice said sitting down at her table. " no I'm not, I can care less wat damien does." I said getting worked up again. "amayla, you need to apologize, not every man is the same, give him a chance to prove that, jayjay! come eat, ok girl put your pride to the side, but I'm bout to stuff my face with this delicious gumbo, so, yeah imma have to call you later." she said. "ok girl, later." I said hanging up the phone. I finally found the strength to walk to my room and just flop myself on my bed. should I let him in to my broken world. what if I open it to him and he breaks me even worser. My pride always gets in the way to let others get close enough to love me. I turned on my back and put in my ear buds and turned on ex-factor by lauryn hill on my phone. I cried in misery, I felt like I'm so far away from happiness. I don't know how this is suppose to go, I've never had real love before. I don't even know what it is, or how to feel it. I slowly closed my eyes and dreamed of being inlove, it was the only way close to it. when the morning came and birds singing, I slowly open my eyes and stretch my arms. another day, wonder what today will bring. Do I dare to find out, not like I have a choice. I decided to get up and ready for work. As I get to my job, I noticed marcus talking and laughing with candice at the register. I see him grab his coffee and then walk past me like I'm some stranger. " hello, I know you ain't just walk past me without speaking." I said turing around to look at him. "oh so you wanna be noticed now, why speak to you, didn't you say all men are the same, so why waste my time on you, matter fact I think maybe you need to work on yourself, but anyways thanks candice for the coffee and chat." he said walking out the door. " he got some nerve telling me wat I need to do, and why you didn't stick up for me, you just let him disrespect me like that." I said with my arms crossed. " hold up, what you not gonna do is come at me sideways, first of all I told you to apologize, second you act like negative nancy because one man did you wrong, marcus shouldn't have to suffer for it, so what you need to do is take that bullshit somewhere else, and fix ur face and that mouth, because honey, you need a reality check." she said rolling her eyes. maybe I was wrong, maybe every man aren't the same. I been through so many dates where the man would wine and dine me. used me and dump me for the next girl. I been through foster homes after foster homes, new home every month or so. thats when had my adopted parents and the three other kids they also adopted. candice, derek, and mark. my adopted parents had died in a car accident, leaving our grandmaw Pattie to raise us until she passed away at fourty. my brother mark was old enough to take care of us and watch over us.mark was 30 and Derek was 23. I was only 10 at the time and candice was 15 with a baby. days was hard sometimes. some days we had to go nights without eating, going shelter to shelter, because we had no money coming in to cover the house mortgage. they didnt hire mark because was a felon due to conspiracy to gang volience and Derek was too much of a weed head. then one of our cousins, pulled mark into the street life and taught him what he need to do to survive. it wasn't the right way, but it sure got us into a nice four bedroom house and cars. we was eating good every night, from lobster to caviar. we was living, my brother was untouchable. I just never had the guts to ask him has he ever hurt anyone. the street life is you either get them or get killed. when I got home I decided to call marcus. "hello." he says. "hey, it's me amayla, look I'm sorry for giving you a hard time, it's just....it's just that, I never had real love presented to me, it's hard for me to trust when I been hurt so much in my life." I said, hoping he forgive me."I mean, I came with respect and you put me in the category of other men who hurt you, and you put your wall up and shut me out, my intentions was good, I didn't want sex from you, it's much bigger then that." marcus said laying down on his couch. "But how do I know your not lying." I asked. "you just gotta trust me, let me prove to you that I'm the man you need. your problems are my problems, I'm here for you, whatever goes between us, gonna stay between us, you feel me." he said. "ok so if I work on trusting you, can we get a rain check?" I said squeezing my eyes closed and crossing my fingers. "of course baby doll, where you wanna go." he said "how about tonight at the jazz club?"I asked. "ok a jazz fan in the building, I like that, what time." he asked " ninish, is that good?" I said blushing. " yeah that's fine, with your sexy ass." he said it so seductively. "ok Mr. smooth daddy, I'll see you then." I said rolling my eyes. "ok halle berry, bye."he said "bye." I said hanging up the phone. I was in to much excitement that I had to call candice. "Girl what you want, I hope it's an apology with your disrespectful ass."candice said watching tv. "Girl I'm sorry, you know you can't stay mad at me long, plus who imma spill the tea too about my date tonight." I said squilling. "What! girl with who?" she asked. "Mr. Brown." I said biting my bottom lip. "Girl you better not mess this up, if you do imma taken him, he gonna know why they call me candy." she said laughing. " girl boo, imma call you later, I gotta get ready." I said "ok best friend, text me tomorrow with details." candice said. "okay girl bye." I said hanging up the phone. I wore a fitted red jumpsuit that fitted every part of my body with a v-neck to show a little cleavage, with black pumps. I sprayed some victoria secret perfume on each side of my neck and between my breast. I looked in the mirror to check my hair and makeup. I heard a knock on the door and I did my model walk to the front door and opens it. "dame, you just keep looking sexier and sexier each time I see you." he said looking me up and down. he leaned in to give me a hug and slowly worked his hands to my ass. I wanted him to stop but he smelled so good and I haven't had a man's touch in so long, it felt so good to be in his arms. it felt so right. "You look nice too in your pimp daddy suit." I said laughing. "oh yeah, well I bet no dude can't move like me." he said doing a little michael jackson move. we both laughed and headed to the car. he opened the car door for me. "Gentleman, hm." I said getting into the car. "if you only knew." he said getting into his car and starting it up. our night has begun. " so are you into jazz music?" I asked to break the silence. " yeah my favorite is louis, bill and gotta have some ella, that soul music right there." he said " oh so you not just a fan, you a fan that's soul is sold to the music." I said. "yeah I grew up around jazz, it's the only thing I had left to remember my mom, she passed away to cancer, my dad never been around, so I'm grandma's baby." he said. " oh...oh I'm sorry to hear that, must of been hard to go through." I said putting my hand on his arm. "I'm good babygirl, I did what I had to do, grandmaw couldn't provide they way I eat, I took the streets, it's faster of way of getting things done,kept my
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