In a matter of exactly 12 minutes, I was drenched in blood, sweat and earth, from having bashed a rock into the heads of two rather lanky topless fellows in lungis. But I am not a murderer.

No, I was saving a little girl. They were chasing her, with sticks. I ran after them. And I can run, top of my class as I always declared with a mountain of pride. So, I caught up with them. I grabbed the bald one by the elbow and screamed into his face. "Stop!"

A whoosh and a piercing pain on my shoulder...