You Are a Silence
I told you, no one would like you. You tried your best, you say.

You sat in the circle you never used to. You toasted a glass of gin you have not tasted. You laughed at their random jokes you were not sure you had gotten. You chanted songs you never sang and screamed the lyrics as they do. But you discovered you were not singing along with them because you were out of their tunes.

You sat there – before the heightening tide, under the starry sky, atop the still stones – with the ones you call your friends, although unsure if they call you that way too. You kept diving into their depth even with the risk of drowning, but none of them did the same for you, maybe only surfing. You spoke at them like the whack of waves in the shoreline – only heard during their sunsets and became silent in the sunrise.

Yes! You are a silence. And silence is dead. And who likes death? Everyone is finding their best.

For once, you allowed them to fill you with noise. You welcomed their voice like an empty room. You sat in an uncomfortable seat. You sipped an unfamiliar bottle. You sounded not your voice but theirs. You laughed without your heart in verse.

That’s how you tried your best, you say, only to make them call you “friend.” But none of these mirrors you. Because you are a silence. And silence is peace. And as you dive into theirs, you forget to delve on your own. You forgot the sound of your silence; thus, you find no peace anymore.

I told you, no one would like you… unless you like you.

© mhaxnxy