You see this life, I cannot beat my wife. I have tried and tried but I cannot just beat her.

I swear it is not like she is not annoying me o. It is not like she doesn’t do things that provoke me.

But I cannot just beat her.

That woman has the word “Annoying” in her nature.

I am sure the nurse that held her was annoyed while holding her. My wife even told me that the day her mother conceived her, it was annoyance that caused the labour to start.

When her father arrived the hospital, the same annoyance broke in. The man started ranting and sparking at the nurses in the hospital. All the nurses became annoyed. They grumbled to the delivery room. Even the doctor himself conducting delivery became annoyed at a point. Why won’t my wife contact the annoyance eh?

So now you can see the circumstances behind the annoying nature of my wife.

Okay just last week, my wife labour started. Let me tell you what happened.

Thank God I was around and at home. If not it would have been a different issue all together.

She had poured water on the cloths I planned wearing to work. She said I shouldn’t leave her at home alone and go to work.

My wife said I was uncaring and not a gentle man like other men out there.
Nollywood movies has really spoilt my wife. I have to kiss her stomach before I go to work. I have to kiss stomach before I eat dinner. I kiss stomach in the morning when I get up from bed. I kiss stomach before I stand up to go any where. No body kisses stomach more than me in Nigeria.

In fact, sometimes I purposely refuse to kiss stomach and will pretend to forget, thinking my wife will let me go. But that is when she will call me back.

“Praises bia. Come and kiss our first child before you go anywhere.”

It doesn’t matter...