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DAIRY ENTRY
Do I have a family. I dought at times. Do they love me . I dought at times.
I do love my family a lot and that's my weeknes.
My biggest fear is beginning lonely. That's because I have been lonely for a long time. The time when my parents left me. It really felt like I was left alone . I had none by my side and that's when this fear of loneliness took place within me
Usually we all do have a lot of a fun and loving memories about childhood where as for me childhood is my nightmare .
I am a left out or an out of circle member of my family . And that's what I don't get why. My elder brother and a cousin sister of mine comes first in my fam. For them my family leaves me behind. They critics me and judge me . It's for them that they always make me a left out and makes me feel unwanted.
If i get into fight with them all in my fam takes there side. No matter who did the wrong. It always ends up me to be the bad one and again to be felt out . Even my mom never takes my side. That hurts
At such times I have always wanted a person to be by my side and that was not your fault or it's ok even if it was your mistake . But the irony was damn cruel I never had such a person in my life.
All the when I cry I do it alone. With no one around. With no one to take into there embrace. That hurts.
I have survived my state of loneliness and state of dipression al alone. I am so proud of myself that I have overcome all those alone with no one beside me. More proud of myself because even when I was going through all my struggles with myself no one knew and thought that I was happy and ok.
But at times I feel so sad to the thought that I have none to be by my side. I hope I would get someone to stay by my side when I feel down , a person who never judge me , a person who would embrace me with all might , a person whom I can run into to let out all my worries instead of the bathroom.
I hope I would be happy a while after atleast I hope I would get something who would claim me as their and never make me fell unwanted and left out.
#dairy #myself #selfbelive #strength #fear #hope
© daisy
I do love my family a lot and that's my weeknes.
My biggest fear is beginning lonely. That's because I have been lonely for a long time. The time when my parents left me. It really felt like I was left alone . I had none by my side and that's when this fear of loneliness took place within me
Usually we all do have a lot of a fun and loving memories about childhood where as for me childhood is my nightmare .
I am a left out or an out of circle member of my family . And that's what I don't get why. My elder brother and a cousin sister of mine comes first in my fam. For them my family leaves me behind. They critics me and judge me . It's for them that they always make me a left out and makes me feel unwanted.
If i get into fight with them all in my fam takes there side. No matter who did the wrong. It always ends up me to be the bad one and again to be felt out . Even my mom never takes my side. That hurts
At such times I have always wanted a person to be by my side and that was not your fault or it's ok even if it was your mistake . But the irony was damn cruel I never had such a person in my life.
All the when I cry I do it alone. With no one around. With no one to take into there embrace. That hurts.
I have survived my state of loneliness and state of dipression al alone. I am so proud of myself that I have overcome all those alone with no one beside me. More proud of myself because even when I was going through all my struggles with myself no one knew and thought that I was happy and ok.
But at times I feel so sad to the thought that I have none to be by my side. I hope I would get someone to stay by my side when I feel down , a person who never judge me , a person who would embrace me with all might , a person whom I can run into to let out all my worries instead of the bathroom.
I hope I would be happy a while after atleast I hope I would get something who would claim me as their and never make me fell unwanted and left out.
#dairy #myself #selfbelive #strength #fear #hope
© daisy
