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Fairytaleland Newsbrief
April Johnson aka "Goldilocks", 16, was charged today with breaking and entering and three counts of criminal mischief. According to Ralph W. Bear, Johnson broke into his house while he and his family were taking a walk to let their porridge cool. Johnson reportedly broke Bear's son's chair, ate his porridge, and took a nap in his bed. "We came home to find her asleep in Paul's bed," Bear said. "When she woke up she ran out the door and disappeared into the woods." Police credit the local Neighborhood Watch with identifying Johnson from the Bear family's description. Johnson is scheduled to be arraigned later next month.
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Royal insiders have confirmed that Prince Edward and Princess Aurora are splitting up. According to sources, Princess Aurora has been having trouble adjusting to modern times after having been asleep for 100 years. The breakup is reported to be amicable, with the prince and princess vowing to remain good friends.
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Police chief Ronald Abrams is trying to quell "wild rumors and speculations" concernjng the tragic death of Humpty Dumpty earlier this month. "Only two EMTs and three emergency responders from the firehouse responded to the call," Abrams said. "Obviously no horses tried to revive Dumpty, and most of the king's men were on field maneuvers at the time."
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Amanda Jenkins has been arrested for child endangerment after encouraging her 6 year old daughter Janet, affectionately known as "Little Red Riding Hood", to travel 2.5 miles to her grandmother's house alone. "Obviously she didn't know about Stranger Danger," said Jeff Oldfield, the hunter who found Janet. "Janet really wanted to go, you know?" Amanda Jenkins said. "I couldn't go so I figured why not let Janet go. Obviously if I had known about the wolf I would have done things differently."
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Jack Olsson, recently famous for building his own house, watched as workers officially condemned the house as unsafe. "I applaud his desire to build his own house but he neglected to get any of the proper permits and have his work inspected," said city commissioner Al Turner. "The framing was unsafe, the pipes were incorrectly welded, and the electricity was well below par. Honestly, it's a miracle the family wasn't hurt in that house." What's next for The House That Jack Built? "Looks like I'll have to tear it down and hire a contractor this time."
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Mike Gurak reporting for FTL-TV
© Mike Gurak
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Royal insiders have confirmed that Prince Edward and Princess Aurora are splitting up. According to sources, Princess Aurora has been having trouble adjusting to modern times after having been asleep for 100 years. The breakup is reported to be amicable, with the prince and princess vowing to remain good friends.
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Police chief Ronald Abrams is trying to quell "wild rumors and speculations" concernjng the tragic death of Humpty Dumpty earlier this month. "Only two EMTs and three emergency responders from the firehouse responded to the call," Abrams said. "Obviously no horses tried to revive Dumpty, and most of the king's men were on field maneuvers at the time."
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Amanda Jenkins has been arrested for child endangerment after encouraging her 6 year old daughter Janet, affectionately known as "Little Red Riding Hood", to travel 2.5 miles to her grandmother's house alone. "Obviously she didn't know about Stranger Danger," said Jeff Oldfield, the hunter who found Janet. "Janet really wanted to go, you know?" Amanda Jenkins said. "I couldn't go so I figured why not let Janet go. Obviously if I had known about the wolf I would have done things differently."
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Jack Olsson, recently famous for building his own house, watched as workers officially condemned the house as unsafe. "I applaud his desire to build his own house but he neglected to get any of the proper permits and have his work inspected," said city commissioner Al Turner. "The framing was unsafe, the pipes were incorrectly welded, and the electricity was well below par. Honestly, it's a miracle the family wasn't hurt in that house." What's next for The House That Jack Built? "Looks like I'll have to tear it down and hire a contractor this time."
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Mike Gurak reporting for FTL-TV
© Mike Gurak
