14 views
She is a b!tch
Let me tell you about my B!tch, love of my life Bella ,she is a she -dog
(emphasis on the "B!tch," because, you know, basic biology), so she is the main actress of this story. she has some very interesting and uncommon quirks.
Like take her eating habits ,has this unshakeable belief that every meal I handle her is secretly laced with cyanide and plutonium. Like, seriously, girl, it's just kibble(animal food) .
So the main plot twist is ,
every mealtime turns into my full-blown FBI investigation. she sniffs the bowl like a police on a murder scene, eyes narrowed in suspicion. Then, she gives me this side-eye , waiting for me to take the first bite of her food . "Lead the way, human! eat it.
so guess what will I do, I perform a dramatic "poison antidote taste test " in simple terms I, as her devoted servant, became a pig.
some might call this crazy, even unsanitary (trust me, I gargle mouthwash after each taste test). and Of course, there were moments when I used to question my sanity. that, Am I really living in a world where I share food with a furball who thinks I'm a walking poison tester? Did I accidentally sign up for a reality show called "Who Wants to Be a Canine Cuisine Critic?" The answer to both questions is probably a maybe !
Because what can I say? Love makes you do crazy things, and I love that "food-phobic b!tch" more than words can say (and, I've said a tons of love words trying to convince her that kibble isn't trying to kill her).
My life with her Of course, crazy . My friends think I'm barking mad .Dinner dates require elaborate explanations about pre-chewing procedure.
But the thing is , she may be a food freak, but she's my food freak. And watching her finally dig into her bowl after my "taste test" performance, well. So, yes,she is a b!tch , but she's my B!tch ,
to be continued ~
© Shi
(emphasis on the "B!tch," because, you know, basic biology), so she is the main actress of this story. she has some very interesting and uncommon quirks.
Like take her eating habits ,has this unshakeable belief that every meal I handle her is secretly laced with cyanide and plutonium. Like, seriously, girl, it's just kibble(animal food) .
So the main plot twist is ,
every mealtime turns into my full-blown FBI investigation. she sniffs the bowl like a police on a murder scene, eyes narrowed in suspicion. Then, she gives me this side-eye , waiting for me to take the first bite of her food . "Lead the way, human! eat it.
so guess what will I do, I perform a dramatic "poison antidote taste test " in simple terms I, as her devoted servant, became a pig.
some might call this crazy, even unsanitary (trust me, I gargle mouthwash after each taste test). and Of course, there were moments when I used to question my sanity. that, Am I really living in a world where I share food with a furball who thinks I'm a walking poison tester? Did I accidentally sign up for a reality show called "Who Wants to Be a Canine Cuisine Critic?" The answer to both questions is probably a maybe !
Because what can I say? Love makes you do crazy things, and I love that "food-phobic b!tch" more than words can say (and, I've said a tons of love words trying to convince her that kibble isn't trying to kill her).
My life with her Of course, crazy . My friends think I'm barking mad .Dinner dates require elaborate explanations about pre-chewing procedure.
But the thing is , she may be a food freak, but she's my food freak. And watching her finally dig into her bowl after my "taste test" performance, well. So, yes,she is a b!tch , but she's my B!tch ,
to be continued ~
© Shi
