Sometime I think it's time to scream out loud. And as I prepare to do, I realize wow I already screamed so loud that my jaws are not even letting me to do it again.

These type of screams are so special to me, I let out my anger just screaming silently building all tension in one spot holding my body from inside out so tightly that even rope won't do such a fine work. And after all this I ask myself what did I gain?
Just a small instance of satisfaction by screaming in lonely and yet still silently.

I'm not broken or having any depression even I don't have any type of super disastrous problems, yet I wanna scream and scream, just want to let it all out. Am I ever be able to? or going to suppress it for even greater sufferings and those small instance of satisfaction by letting these silent screams in alone.

What am I exactly? what am I doing right now? Why I give up so fast? Even am I trying, 'to ever give up on anything ?No I'm not even trying. But why? I get so excited and well determined about something that I want to do and then....I can't keep it for even days..

If I ever be allowed to wish....then perhaps I'll....

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