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2023 - The journey and insights
Here's to 2023, a quick recap.
This whole year was marked by radical transitions.
I remember sitting at my desk on 1st January 2023 at the school, Yes! The institution never spares anyone. My friends and I were devising plans for the practical examinations and discussing some professional and non professional courses to pursue post our class 12th board examinations.
January was fun, warmth in the heart as the winters continued to prevail outside.
February marked our farewell and commencement of the examinations.
February and March went by as I challenged my bio-clock and promised myself a good score, The nights were spent studying and sleep was welcomed when the sun rays kissed my windows in the morning and birds chirped their morning anthem on the trees around my house.
It's not a very good thing to do though, I wouldn't advise the same to anyone because this practice messed with my health and lifestyle. The rationale behind choosing nighttime was silence and hollowness it offered. I remember sitting back really tensed about some subjects and doubting myself once in a while but still studied and practiced as I had no other choice.
In April, I was done with my examinations. I spent the month fixing my sleep cycle and daily schedule. April was a soothing month, a monotonous ray of happiness and leisure.
In May, I started studying for CUET examinations (entrance test to get into various universities especially University of Delhi). That was the period of realisation, when I realised about my inefficiency. I perhaps had to study in a better way, though this realisation was outweighed by the results of board examinations, I ended up scoring 96.2 percentile aggregate. I had mixed feelings at the moment and felt numb for a while. Post that, I started Appreciating everything around me more and decided to connect with nature so I started to wake at 4 a.m. though that didn't continue for long due to various reasons. But let me tell you something, if your lifestyle allows you to wake up early and continue your day peacefully, do that. The planet is on some distinctive sanctioned sacredness during that period. This time frame is the pure period of the divine. I would definitely resume this practice in 2024 when winters pass by.
I started studying more in June as my dates and admit card were out and decided to cut on social media and YouTube. I would watch television, study and take a stroll out. Peaceful yet boring. So I decided to play BGMI. For those who don't know what BGMI is, it's the Indian version of PUBG as the original versions are banned by the government.
Playing BGMI reminisced a lot of memories. (I used to play it while attending online classes in 2020 and 2021, I was a rebellious, immature and insecure kid back then. I mean, if you go back to a few of my old posts, dated back in 2021 and 2020, you would find me annoying and delusional, now you know why).
CUET examinations summed up in the last weeks of June and those were probably the Dizziest weeks of the year. Now, I was left with nothing and suddenly felt purposeless, so I played BGMI for an unhealthy amount of time and met a few great people there. Though I regret it now, that time could have been invested in doing something productive or adding to my personal set of knowledge and skills. But it's okay, that's how we learn. In July, however, an incident followed which caused an indefinite amount of distress for a long time. I'd call it 'The K factor'. Soon my CUET results were announced and I scored enough to get into the top colleges, later the list of colleges was announced and I got into the college I had aimed for. I was delighted to see all my efforts pay off, however, I made sure not to expect a lot from the life that follows.
'I believe in giving my best and have no control over the fruits that reap" This saying has always saved me.
In this course of seven months, I had left the whole school life behind without even realising it finely.
In August, I joined the college and it's a campus of elites I should say, a wholesome area with a lot of FOMO, experience, knowledge, events, top professors and what not. However this sudden entrance into college life and a new yet very different environment startled me. I was overwhelmed and frustrated, also 'The K Factor' and other issues kept irritating me, so I went silent and quiet.
In September, I was again frustrated and silent, but chose to spend time with my sibling and cousins, it healed me to a good extent. I realised I must work hard. October and November as such has no great highlights, college life as such is very dynamic, if I pen the detail down, it'll extend to five chapters minimum. In December, my semester one examinations have begun and are still going on, there's a lot of hush-rush going on, since everyone is a scholar, everyone wishes to score well even if it doesn't really matter.
The highlights and conclusion-
In this process, I forgot what it was like to be a student in school with the same friends over the years. Everyone is now busy with their own goals and ambitions, everyone will evolve, grow and change, thus I know nothing will stay the same it used to be and this is life.
In the moments where life pauses and I'm left with nothing but my thoughts, I realise how scary it is to see everything that once constituted my whole life has ended.
I'm no longer the person I was at the beginning of the year, because I too, must change and it; will happen and keep happening. This is life. I lost some very important people including a friend, we have the means to communicate I.e. various apps but it alone isn't enough to keep in touch, sometimes things happen and end as they are meant to be.
Leaving the phase behind isn't deliberate, it happens with the course of life. Thus let's keep growing, learning and evolving, let's embrace changes.
Lastly, don't stop loving and appreciating life, nature, god, yourself and people. Trust me optimism has no consequences, only happiness and satisfaction. "My love is absolute and my wit is strategic". I guess this quote sums up the whole narrative. Remember, we'll eventually leave the planet, we aren't meant to stay in this beautiful sphere forever, hate and jealousy is basically fueling yourself to the extent of a third degree burn. Just be cautious of people around you, not everyone is meant to be around you, don't hate them but don't embrace them as well. Wish them healing and stay away from dramas.
Meeting people and letting people go is a part of life. I made some great friends this year, though most of them would soon return to being a stranger and some of them will stay. This again, is life. It's all about loving and being grateful than expecting or getting addicted/attached.
I swear I wanted to keep it brief but ended up writing this long essay like insight. If you made an effort to read this genuinely, let me know about any grammatical errors, texting this took a lot of screen time and I believe I must have messed up a few lines unconsciously. Also if you read this whole thing, comment your name with a heart or your favorite line from the conclusion or any suggestion from your side. This will be an identification mark for me and I'll forever be grateful for your existence and umm... I don't know... I mean read it if you want to and have time to.
Lots of love and wishes for the new year.
-Niharika Singh
© NSR
This whole year was marked by radical transitions.
I remember sitting at my desk on 1st January 2023 at the school, Yes! The institution never spares anyone. My friends and I were devising plans for the practical examinations and discussing some professional and non professional courses to pursue post our class 12th board examinations.
January was fun, warmth in the heart as the winters continued to prevail outside.
February marked our farewell and commencement of the examinations.
February and March went by as I challenged my bio-clock and promised myself a good score, The nights were spent studying and sleep was welcomed when the sun rays kissed my windows in the morning and birds chirped their morning anthem on the trees around my house.
It's not a very good thing to do though, I wouldn't advise the same to anyone because this practice messed with my health and lifestyle. The rationale behind choosing nighttime was silence and hollowness it offered. I remember sitting back really tensed about some subjects and doubting myself once in a while but still studied and practiced as I had no other choice.
In April, I was done with my examinations. I spent the month fixing my sleep cycle and daily schedule. April was a soothing month, a monotonous ray of happiness and leisure.
In May, I started studying for CUET examinations (entrance test to get into various universities especially University of Delhi). That was the period of realisation, when I realised about my inefficiency. I perhaps had to study in a better way, though this realisation was outweighed by the results of board examinations, I ended up scoring 96.2 percentile aggregate. I had mixed feelings at the moment and felt numb for a while. Post that, I started Appreciating everything around me more and decided to connect with nature so I started to wake at 4 a.m. though that didn't continue for long due to various reasons. But let me tell you something, if your lifestyle allows you to wake up early and continue your day peacefully, do that. The planet is on some distinctive sanctioned sacredness during that period. This time frame is the pure period of the divine. I would definitely resume this practice in 2024 when winters pass by.
I started studying more in June as my dates and admit card were out and decided to cut on social media and YouTube. I would watch television, study and take a stroll out. Peaceful yet boring. So I decided to play BGMI. For those who don't know what BGMI is, it's the Indian version of PUBG as the original versions are banned by the government.
Playing BGMI reminisced a lot of memories. (I used to play it while attending online classes in 2020 and 2021, I was a rebellious, immature and insecure kid back then. I mean, if you go back to a few of my old posts, dated back in 2021 and 2020, you would find me annoying and delusional, now you know why).
CUET examinations summed up in the last weeks of June and those were probably the Dizziest weeks of the year. Now, I was left with nothing and suddenly felt purposeless, so I played BGMI for an unhealthy amount of time and met a few great people there. Though I regret it now, that time could have been invested in doing something productive or adding to my personal set of knowledge and skills. But it's okay, that's how we learn. In July, however, an incident followed which caused an indefinite amount of distress for a long time. I'd call it 'The K factor'. Soon my CUET results were announced and I scored enough to get into the top colleges, later the list of colleges was announced and I got into the college I had aimed for. I was delighted to see all my efforts pay off, however, I made sure not to expect a lot from the life that follows.
'I believe in giving my best and have no control over the fruits that reap" This saying has always saved me.
In this course of seven months, I had left the whole school life behind without even realising it finely.
In August, I joined the college and it's a campus of elites I should say, a wholesome area with a lot of FOMO, experience, knowledge, events, top professors and what not. However this sudden entrance into college life and a new yet very different environment startled me. I was overwhelmed and frustrated, also 'The K Factor' and other issues kept irritating me, so I went silent and quiet.
In September, I was again frustrated and silent, but chose to spend time with my sibling and cousins, it healed me to a good extent. I realised I must work hard. October and November as such has no great highlights, college life as such is very dynamic, if I pen the detail down, it'll extend to five chapters minimum. In December, my semester one examinations have begun and are still going on, there's a lot of hush-rush going on, since everyone is a scholar, everyone wishes to score well even if it doesn't really matter.
The highlights and conclusion-
In this process, I forgot what it was like to be a student in school with the same friends over the years. Everyone is now busy with their own goals and ambitions, everyone will evolve, grow and change, thus I know nothing will stay the same it used to be and this is life.
In the moments where life pauses and I'm left with nothing but my thoughts, I realise how scary it is to see everything that once constituted my whole life has ended.
I'm no longer the person I was at the beginning of the year, because I too, must change and it; will happen and keep happening. This is life. I lost some very important people including a friend, we have the means to communicate I.e. various apps but it alone isn't enough to keep in touch, sometimes things happen and end as they are meant to be.
Leaving the phase behind isn't deliberate, it happens with the course of life. Thus let's keep growing, learning and evolving, let's embrace changes.
Lastly, don't stop loving and appreciating life, nature, god, yourself and people. Trust me optimism has no consequences, only happiness and satisfaction. "My love is absolute and my wit is strategic". I guess this quote sums up the whole narrative. Remember, we'll eventually leave the planet, we aren't meant to stay in this beautiful sphere forever, hate and jealousy is basically fueling yourself to the extent of a third degree burn. Just be cautious of people around you, not everyone is meant to be around you, don't hate them but don't embrace them as well. Wish them healing and stay away from dramas.
Meeting people and letting people go is a part of life. I made some great friends this year, though most of them would soon return to being a stranger and some of them will stay. This again, is life. It's all about loving and being grateful than expecting or getting addicted/attached.
I swear I wanted to keep it brief but ended up writing this long essay like insight. If you made an effort to read this genuinely, let me know about any grammatical errors, texting this took a lot of screen time and I believe I must have messed up a few lines unconsciously. Also if you read this whole thing, comment your name with a heart or your favorite line from the conclusion or any suggestion from your side. This will be an identification mark for me and I'll forever be grateful for your existence and umm... I don't know... I mean read it if you want to and have time to.
Lots of love and wishes for the new year.
-Niharika Singh
© NSR
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