She was astounding.
In the air she was dangling
She was waiting for her Father to come and get her from the hand
But her sister appeared
She told her that her time has come.
She asked her,
Maria,
Why did you admire other girls?
When you knew you were only admiring yourself?
Why did you crave men?
When all the while you were waiting for your other half?
And why is this other half should have been someone else?
You had everything you asked for
But you were asking for more.
Maria, why did you had sex
When this is not what you wanted?
Why were you so ungrateful to yourself?
Maria why did you nail down so many times?
Why did you pray, and then, why did you cry?
Maria, you were accusing God, but why?
Maria, why were you so unfaithful to him
When you knew that this time was about to reveal?
Maria, if you knew heaven is for real...
Why did you do all the things you did?
Why didn't you sacrifice for the person you could be?

Maria raised her head above
She was in silence
Even though she could give an answer to all of that
But the questions seemed to be more impressing at this moment in time.

Maria was flowing through the light.
She suddenly started talking, and she was full of lies
She said
"I've got an answer. May I?"
Her sister shake her head, like she was saying "yes!"

I admired other girls because I knew, we've got to search for the light to others and stop embracing ourselves.
I did not crave men. I was searching for someone who could be my friend.
I didn't need my other half.
I needed just someone to hold me by the hand.
I didn't have everything. I didn't have God.
God is other people. You cannot find Him on your own.
Its not that I didn't want to have sex.
I just wanted to have sex with someone such impressing as I am.
I thought I found him.
One and two and thousand of times.
But I was wrong.
I was ungrateful to myself, because I was facing time alone,
and I could not go out and chase what I was looking for.
I could have so many people around me to keep reminding how amazing I am.
But I chose loneliness, I chose dark.
I nailed down for so many times,
because I thought that God was not so different than I
I thought she would answer to my prayers with a smile
But my burden was all the tears I could not hide
I accused Him for being so different than they teached me as a child.
I didn't know if God is real.
That's why I was unfaithful and closed my eyes and ears
At the truth.
I didn't believe in heaven
I was afraid of the End.
And,
I did not sacrifice, because even though I had so many people to love me, nobody sacrificed for me
Nobody gave me as much as the cross I was carrying
It was heavy
And I was weak.
But now I know.
I was just a silly human being.