. It's been a while since we talked, but for me, you're still my Kuya.

We might have been grown old, maybe that is what sets us apart.

By the way, I heard that you're going through a rough time right now. I know suffering from anxiety and overthinking is never easy, and I cannot do anything about that personally.

I wanna lift up your mood to make you feel better, but I don't know how to help you since I am shy, and your girlfriend might not want you to talk to other girls, even me.

I just wanna tell you that everything will get better eventually. You know, I kinda envy you.

To be honest, I thought you're having a great life. Studying courses that you're passionate to is one of the dreams I never had, but you did.

As I see you everyday, I thought you're happy because you're a cyclist, and can unwind whenever you want.

But I think I was wrong.

Your Mom said that you're chilling while crying, telling her that you cannot do it anymore. That you are getting shy to your sister because of your financial needs.

I scrolled to your timeline, and you somewhat pointing out that at your age, you could've achieved more.

But I'll tell you. We're on the same boat.

You know, I just want to share with you that I want to become someone with a lot of life achievements. I want to be a journalist, or a streamer, youtuber, or a wrestler. But I don't know how.

I thought too that everything for me is so late.

But as I snap out of overthinking and anxiety, I realized that achieving life goals comes from open doors of opportunity towards the goal we always wanted.

That life is never about competitions, and comparisons. Other people might got it all at our age, but our lives run a different story.

It's okay if you're jobless, and inexperienced. That does not what defines life.

You're still doing your part studying arts, and I believe that nothing of those would not pay off after you graduate.

And I believe the same thing for me too.

I might be jobless and inexperienced, but my dreams are far more than what I want to be

You see, all I want is to be a popular influencer, and so as you want to be an artist.

We both don't know why we are here, why we are like this now in different ways. We both spilled the words 'I don't want to do this anymore.'

But I believe that God never bring us this far just to be swallowed up by negativities.

I hope you find your dreams bond stronger than your anxiety.

Just always remember that sweetest fruits never came instant and easy.

Cheer up, Kuya Paul.

I am your fan since we were just kids, and will always be.

I love you as a family, as my older brother.

We might not talk a lot today, but I still treasure the lessons you thought me when we were young.

I hope we both make it through these all.

© Pristina