Life takes time to find you; It will come around when you least expect it they said. But I can attest— that did happen to me… when it first had forsaken me. I think life had forced the first quarter of my life to stop, die, heal and be reborn. I was taken to the gates of my mind, and forced to walk a pace I would once rush; This time I chose to walk three paces behind. I was surged with my life flashing before my eyes. Except it was not in memory— it was all through feeling; Each day a fever and flash of incongruent thought. The profuse sweats, chills and jolts a reminiscing stake to the chest. A blind whimper of what happened to me, my body; But what is not visible any longer. I’m walking blind to the feeling of not knowing what happened to my body in the past. The past of my youth that should have been fond, loving, cherishing— but was repeatedly traumatising. I am fully reliant on my courage to pillage through the despair; So that the remainder of my life is kinder. I’ve become my own healer. I’ve become my own family, companion and friend. This is not the end.

© Lois Christina. Not my image.