In a year I earned and saved enough to return the money to my father. He asked me from where I am earning all these money. So I told him that I am doing internship given to me from the college. His glow on the face was clearly visible. And I was also feeling very relieved.
Then from the money which was left with me, I started attending the classes to learn sign language. Anywhere I was going, whether my jobs or classes, I remained aloof. People tried to talk to me, but I never ever tried to befriend them. Now sometimes I use to keep myself at Aaniha's place, how much lonely she must have felt at time, when all she needed was friends and support.
It took me almost 8-9 months to learn the sign language. And meanwhile learning this language, I was trying to locate some of my friends. I even found Aaniha's residence, but I am not courageous enough to knock at her door.
Today, after ending my shift in the mall, I thought of taking a relaxing walk in the nearby park.


The evening air is truly refreshing. I haven't had meal since morning. So that's why my stomach is grumbling. Let's have a quick snack on my way back. Wait what is this tempting smell. It's coming from a nearby vendor. What is he selling?
Cheesy momos! Oh my god! This is what my stomach wants now.


I went near that vendor. I think he is quite famous over here as he attracted a big mob.


Hey! Give me a full plate of cheesy momos please.
Vendor- (after a minute or two) here's your order. 60rs.


I pulled a 100 rupee note and when I handed it to him I noticed his face.


HITESH?
Is that you?


He looked at me with panic in his eyes.


Ayush?


Yes. It's me. Ayush. What are you doing? No wait. What happened?
It's none of your business. So get lost.


But...


I said get lost!


He shouted in such harsh voice. Even if my subconscious wanted me to stop I wouldn't had.
What was he doing here? And that too working as a vendor. He must have been ignoring me. Is he working part time? I am having so many questions but I know he won't see me. Not even for a second.
Next day, I visited the same park again, in hope that I will find him alone and then maybe he will talk to me. But he never came. And I am clueless about how to find him again.
But that day I met Maya. She was with a boy. And when I went to say hello, she hugged me and spoke with me very politely. Then I got to know that the man beside her is her boyfriend. We were talking and somehow this topic about Aaniha arose. I mockingly said that-
Now the teachers and classmates are not here, you will agree that you also badmouthed about her right?


She looked at her boyfriend, and then suddenly in a raised and alarmingly panicked voice she said-
You were the one who bullied a physically challenged girl. Yes. Pranav you know, when we were in school he bullied a physically challenged girl and even tried to do so with me and my friends. I was being humble by talking with him and see how gutty he became that he is trying to blame me now.
Pranav, Maya's boyfriend, who was talking very sweetly with me a second ago, started to look at me with the same stare as all the student did when I was in 6th standard. I decided that I will not approach these so called hell mates of mine. I will just see Aaniha once to say sorry and that's it. I will never approach anyone.
I went to my house. No one was at home. I had to sit outside. As I was not having key to my locked house. Instead of sitting I decided that I should go and venture somewhere nearby. I walked and walked and walked. The weather somehow became gloomy. All the dark clouds started to group together. I knew it is going to rain soon, but still my legs, they didn't turned towards the home. Actually I was enjoying this weather. This weather was in my mind for very long, and now finally it showed up in person. I don't want to run away from it now. I know where I can enjoy this weather without being disturbed.
I walked towards the mall, where I work as a part timer. The roof of this mall is never locked. I can go there and no one will be disturbing me while I will be venturing merrily in my thoughts.
As expected, the door of the roof of the mall was not locked. I opened the door and in order to not to be disturbed by anyone I locked the door from my side. I stood in middle of the roof, looking towards the clouds. Letting holy rain to cleanse each and every thought of mine.
What's that? A rustling sound. From where it came? I guess from the back side. I turned left. There was a small space leading to the backside of the roof. When I was in that small corridor I saw a person, a girl, standing on the edge of the roof's wall. I called. And shouted-


Hey! What are you doing over there?
No response. That girl didn't even winced. What is she dumb?


Hey! I am talking to you. Don't ignore me.


Again no response.


I am still standing in that narrow corridor. Waiting for the girl's answer. But suddenly she turned, 180 degrees. Now I can see her face. A beautiful girl, with beautiful eyes.
AANIHA?


She looked at me. With that wry smile of hers. I know something is off.


I rushed towards her, but due to the water I slipped. I felt a sharp pain in my left leg. I cannot stand up. And what is she doing? Still standing on the edge. Why is she not coming to help me? Wait she is gesturing something.
I AM SORRY!


I pushed myself up with all the force and raced towards her. She jumped but I am here. Holding her hand, as tight as I can from my one arm. From another arm I am gripping some part of the roof's wall. I looked at her. She is crying. Even in the rain, I can see her tears.
Oh god! Please let me use some power. Let me use each and every ounce of power left in my body. Please god, let me make this one thing in my life right. I promise I will not run away from people anymore. Please god, let me say sorry to her, for once. Please. Please.


Aaniha, grab the corner of the wall, you dammit. I shouted. Please grab it. I am sorry. Please. Grab it.
Yes that's right, this corner.


Shit. I don't have any energy left. I cannot hang like this for the whole day. Wait she has grabbed the corner, I should now use both my hands. To pull her up.


No! I will fall.
Just do it.


I grabbed her one arm, with both hands. I pulled her up. Yes! This is working.


Yes. Thank you god. She is finally on the roof again, but wait why am I falling?
--------------Crash--------------



I wanted to kill myself. But then I saw his face, I reasoned with myself. I still jumped, but he was there, holding me. I then made up my mind. I tried to get up. I even stabilized myself on the roof's wall, when I saw him falling down. But he did not panicked. He risked his life just to save me. I am responsible for his death. I cannot rise upon this guilt. I hated myself. I hated everyone. And I knew that even if I will die, no one will be sad. I am just a burden upon everyone. Even on my family. I still cannot understand why he even tried to save me. He should have left me alone like he did when we were younger. I cannot.... I cannot... think straight now... sorry everyone.
Translator and teacher of traumatic health- Its ok! Ms. Aaniha. I know you are traumatized, but this is totally not your fault. Whatever is destined to happen will happen and you cannot blame yourself for that........






~THE END~

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