I don't know her, this isn't me, things like that cross mind these days, i fail to schedule, i fail to work, i keep failing every day, and now i fail to recognise myself, how long is it gonna extend? I'm tired of being a looser all the damn time, tired of seeing everybody do their thing so passionately. 'It's fine, it's okay, everything will be alright' i used to tell myself this thousand times in a day, and now it's been months and nothing feels alright, words like "you can!" and "You will" feels faded, I'm unable to take control of myself, the one present in me today isn't the one I ever wanted to be, 'she' isn't me. I hate the Alice in me, hating her for being so cruel and mean to me, hate her for all the guilt she's giving me constantly. Never wanted to settle on average, I'm not the type though, never thought I'd be laughed at, never imagined myself at this very point, I'm helpless, the one who use to be the helping hand is so torn off, what a fate, Think I'm gonna die averagely, I hate you for this Alice, it's just because of you, i'm gonna die silently, but once i'm dead, there'll be a huge noice that you won't be able to bear.


© Popsicle