yesterday I wrote my world behind the Bars .
that was not about the prison.
also not about any prisoner
it was all about me .
today I suddenly got a message of sorry
and I m confused what happened, why someone say I m sorry to me and that person didn't did anything whom she felt sorry.
but I think my changed behaviour has did something, or I didnt notice she had did something wrong.
or I m not taking anyone seriously.
because I didn't expect anything from anyone.
i know at difficult time I was the one who hold my soul from breaking
i know I m the one who is doing the things to make myself feel better.
I know I will be the one who will be happiest one at my success.
so I m not wasting my time on others, what they did , do or what they will do .
every day I get close to myself.
everyday I feel I m a better person by doing things.
why people think I didn't care at all .
I want to explore my world for that I have to work .
like the Jurassic world
l have to survive from the fires of brutal Kingdom.
Everyday starts with a new beginning, new environment, new phase .
why I waste my day by thinking why this happened, this is totally a lame excuse to myself.
for not living a bright day .
yesterday I was angry with many things.
I was feeling guilty for nothing,
feeling hurt .
feeling of bratyred..
yes I m still confused with some questions.
I want the answer but how i didn't know.
shall talking could help me .
shall I discuss...
or shall I leave....
but leaving the things is not good because it is necessary to talk about the things.
a person cannot ignore while you trying to help .
yes I m worried, anxious and deep down feel so lonely sometimes.
I love my family, family members whom I notice everything, a single thing.
but how a person can ignore too much things which makes me frustrated, angry and sometimes I want to kill that person.
i can't do that..
Deep down i know that person is special to me also because you can't kill your family.
yes according to that person I m an overthinker, I take too much stress on small small things .
I ruin my peace by overthinking.
which is true sometimes.
I believe in my gut feeling ,
I trust my gut more than a person.
if a person is lying i know that .
my gut intuition are so much strong that no one can hide any lie from me . People will play with your mind and you can't understand what you are doing to your self.
All of us have many fears or we are phobic to many things.
like I was phobic to attending marriages , gathering, photos, animals, insects , winds , rain , earthquakes , losing of people, or I m not good looking and many more .
phobia of talking to a person face to face.
Not I am an introvert.
a shy person, nothing at all .
I was just worried about their judgement till this year .
But this year I tried to me what I m really, a strong soul , a free bird ...
learning to fly high with the small steps and i uncover my winds with the golden coating.


© Filliefortie