It takes 6-7 tries for an abused woman to finally resist the urge to go back to her abuser……





Have you ever seen a woman in the emergency room with her arm broken in three places giving a lame and obvious false reason for her injury?, or a woman walking around with obviously too much concealer around her eyes to cover up a bruise?. These women carry their scars on the outside but not emotionally abused women, it is difficult to prove you’re being emotionally abused or verbally assaulted when you can’t show a judge or a cop any scars. I didn’t even know that being emotionally abused was possible until I met my ex husband Ethan.

I met Ethan at a run down bar one late night. I was desperately trying to get a drink from the bar but the bartender was too busy flirting to pay me any attention. Ethan stepped up out of nowhere and ordered my drink for me. He was 6 foot tall with a blonde buzz cut, blue eyes and a round nose. We spent the rest of the night, I told him about my life, I was an orphan, I grew up in the system, left when I was 16, put myself through school, took a year off and applied to college so I was waiting to hear back from them. I told him I was going to college to pursue creative writing. He also told me about himself, how he grew up rich but was cut off by his dad for being too eccentric, he told me he was preparing to back pack across Europe. We had a shared love of books and reading and at the end of the night he asked for my number and invited me for a drink later.

After that night we hung out together a lot, I met his friends and we soon began dating. Ethan was by side when I received the letter that said I had gotten into college, he was so happy for me and helped me buy furniture and other stuff I needed for school. I realized that i hadn’t been feeling well so I went to the hospital to make sure everything was okay before i left for school. It turned out that i wasn’t sick just really really pregnant. I had mixed feelings about the pregnancy, I knew I wanted to keep it but I was worried about Ethan’s reaction and I was right to be worried

“ What do you mean you’re pregnant you trailer trash?. You trying to trap me you low life bitch??. You’re ruining MY life, heck you’re ruining your own fucking life you dumb bitch. A baby??
What do you know about parenting?? Aren’t your parents dead?? I don’t want it, I don’t want you.” He screamed in my face. I just left him standing there and went home and wrote how I felt in my journal, I didn’t care what he said I wasn’t going to get rid of the baby. I called admissions of the college I had gotten into and informed them of my recent situation, and asked if I could defer for a while. They were very understanding and told me my spot was open and to come back whenever I was ready.


Ethan showed up at my apartment three days later with tears in his eyes and an apology, he said he was just overwhelmed in that moment and didn’t know what to say. He held me close and told me me loved me and our unborn baby. Later that evening as we lay in bed he asked me to marry me because he couldn’t imagine his life without me. We were married three days later; it was a simple wedding, with his best friend Sean officiating the ceremony in front of Ethan’s RV home in the woods. I had a difficult pregnancy and couldn’t work so Ethan was...