Kinda of warning. might be triggers.
1st day:
Hey, it's us. I'm not doing well at the moment. Hope we get better
2nd day:
I promise to stay alive until at least the end of university
I'm okay
I need to be okay
3rd day:
Its getting harder to help myself
I don't like me
So I tell myself stupid little things I would miss
For some reason my friends and family isn't my first or second thought
I just wouldn't care
I hate myself
So it doesn't matter
4th day:
I know death doesn't happen to me
It happens to everyone else around me
It's sad
I hate myself
I am unlovable
I am Unhappy
I am a bad person
I deserve death.
I'm okay.
5th day:
I haven't cried yet
Great grandma. And I haven't cried the time I cried was looking at her in the hospital bed the day before she died watching it I haven't cried since
I don't think they realize it hurts me to. Everyone asks how is my family is but no one ever asks how I'm doing.
Because the real answer is not nice.
Because right now it's a game of not crying I literally walked into the classroom twice because people asked me how it was it didn't even mean it about the death they just meant in general and I almost cried.
It hurts so bad.
6th day:
I am completely numb. I finally cried I cried about 2 hours and now I'm numb
Its the stress I believe. My bully got suspended for the semester for weaponized threats and I'm kind of scared it somehow stress I don't think it's normal this kind of thing doesn't happen at a small town school it shouldn't happen in a small town school it hurts because I'm scared and I have no idea what to do I broke down last night my mom try to talk to me but I won't open up this is my fault not hers she shouldn't have to deal with it I do.
I'm okay.
7th day:
The answer is I'm doing really bad.


© The Scarlett poet