#FOU - G

It aches terribly. I didn't know the reason or to be exact, didn't know till this moment. Guilt ... The unknown darkness that keeps on trying to engulf me is Guilt. It wraps around me. Sometimes it becomes so violent that I run out of air. At times the mark of being squeezed is left behind. The pain, the scar... Everything. It feels heavy and full of pain & a lot more than I could convey n that kinda freaks me out. Know what's worst, I can't share this. I have to keep it in. Cause "open up and we'll help you", those are just null words. Empty... totally empty n meaningless words. They don’t understand nor do they try. Mental health is part of being a healthy individual. Every time I say I need a Therapist they say what if you're imagining things. Cause that's what you're hearing. Even if that is the case you should've still taken me to one. You can't. You never will. Know why.
Cause you don't want to & I know nothing's going to change. It's been like this & it'll always be like this. Me being lonely, enduring the pain I can't even control, freaking out by myself. Every single time it'll be me & I. It'll never has been or will be we or us. Cause you never cared to begin with.

Know what ? You were to busy taking care of your pain that you forgot I was also being effected by you. That I was also having my own problems. You were too lost to understand that I was in pain still sharing your pain.

Everything turned so painful. Still looking forward for that moment that'll change everything &
when that moment approached everything became calm within me.

© v