© All Rights Reserved
Knitklinblogspotcom that's my blog guys please don't forget to follow and please don't forget to add the dot😁🙏. Therefore after knitklin, there is one dot and after blogspot there is another dot. Thank you guys and don't forget to follow☺️☺️..

.... I feel so ashamed of myself
Is this the girl I have come to be after all the struggles in my life? Am I really going to have him? Am I the other girl in his life? Have I turned to a whore like Joe called me?
Mama knocked on the door, she opened it immediately and came in with a huge sense of welcome.
I felt warm. My mama came in and kissed my forehead before hugging me. I put on my shoes and immediately, we stolled to the Mr Jones small restaurant, I needed to walk actually. On the way to the restaurant:
ME: I HAVE FOUND LOVE

MAMA : WHAT? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY... YOU DID WHAT?

ME : NO MAMA... YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T UNDERSTAND

MAMA : WELL THEN, TODAY WILL BE ABOUT YOU... MAYBE WE CAN HAVE THAT CHAT I PROMISED YOU SOME OTHER TIME.

ME : NO MAMA, I JUST KISSED A GUY

MAMA :(laughs) JUST A RANDOM DUDE, OR YOUR BOYFRIEND? WHO THERE'S NO NEED TO ANSWER THE QUESTION.
YOU KISSED A BOY? COOL. BUT, P PLEASE BE CAREFUL.

ME : YES MAMA, I KNOW
We entered and sat down. We could feel the tension in the air, I didn't know what to say. Sensing the situation my mum smiled.
"So.. What do you wanna talk about?", I said to lighten up the mood.
"Caroline, I need you to digest every word I will leave you with today, consume all of it dear and one more thing... Understand me". I swallowed in so as to keep my focus on my mum. I laughed and said "Mama, you are talking like you want to leave me after our 'chit-chat'". I put my fingers up in a dramatic way, when I said 'chit-chat'. We both laughed. After some minutes of silence, my mum spoke.
"I owed so much money because I had to pay your money. We both know that over the years we've been alone, together. None of your father's family came to ever visit. That's because they wanted to keep you and I didn't want that so... I paid them off. There wasn't money all the time because there was no way I could get money. Not that my boss does not pay me money, they do. I mean I couldn't see any proof in my account that they pay money and that was because everytime, my salary goes straight to them even before I could see or send it. Caroline dear, if I hadn't paid them off they would have collected you, I mean they didn't want to have anything to do with me and that could affect our relationship. So, I just prayed.... And look everything is settled. My dear, they would have used you for anything they could think of, since I didn't want to give you to them at the beginning, they wanted to destroy you, they wanted to ruin you, my love".
This is so emotional for me to bear. Seeing my mum cry while narrating a painful story. I really appreciate her decision to keep me, I really do. With tears, I said "Mama, they wanted to ruin me. To ruin us?... They planned to rip my life apart. Who am I...". My mama looked me in the eyes and said
" You are Caroline Juggs, you are all the universe could ever ask for, you have learnt from all your mistakes, you are planning to be a great woman, you are unique my child... We both have faced lot of challenges in the past, but you handle them better than I do, you are a funny girl and can also be a demon to those who do not appreciate your worth. My dear, your friends are so lucky to have you. You have always made people around you happy. You are vibrant. You are a lucky charm. You are my princess!. ". Immediately my mum finished talking, our eyes have stated turning red, I quickly went to the other side of the table and hugged her
" I love you momma".
This is me, this is my life. I am so special.
© knit&klin