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it isn't easy to be happy for you either
Let's start at once upon a time...
I knew a boy, a rather beautiful boy. The light within him was brilliant.
he just couldn't see it.


I stand by everything I have told you about hearing a voice, to be here for you when you need me.
Turns out I needed you too.
It is still unclear to me why you waited so long before telling me I was annoying. I thought you genuinely liked me. So naturally not being physically near you I became, let's say overzealous with the emails and such. I am so disappointed. I'm normally not that overbearing or jealous even...
(A peculiar thing happened to me on the trip inside your mind;)
I was being very honest about my feelings for you. Something I should of keep to myself and just live out my life chasing shadows tail. Suppresing my feeling for you is "unhealthy" too. People never ask themselves what makes them happy. I know what truly makes me happy. Making others happy. Oh and comfortable! Indeed it's so cliche but letting others feel loved, without judgement or guilt. Allowing them to BE their authentic self's. All this "let it flow" with the moment is not the same as being IN the moment. In the flow.
I truly see the good in "good" and "bad" people and accept them without judgement. I don't know their story but I got the time to listen. I believe we all experience bad to appreciate the good.
People places and things leave, often times before we are ready to let them go, that is so we are grateful in the moment while we are experiencing them.

I suppose you could say I was projecting my "golden shadow" onto you...

"We also project our psychological gold onto others. In therapy this is called the “transference” where the therapist is perceived to be a parental figure or idol who will hold the patient’s “gold” for them. We do this with all whom we idolize, beginning with our parents. We see the beautiful qualities in them. They are heroes, they are geniuses, they are wonderful stewards to the world. Really, it is we who are these things as much or even more, but we have not come to accept our own beauty and genius. As we remove our projections over time, we realize that our idol’s highest qualities were projections of ourselves.
When we find others projecting their own gold onto us, see us as idols, we must be careful with the responsibility, and hand it back to them as they mature.
(See Robert A. Johnson’s Inner Gold- Understanding Psychological Projection.)

It's the last paragraph that struck a chord.
Gently darling...
Gently