They make it seem like every unfortunate thing that happens to us is there to weave some magic and make us better. I wonder if there are unfortunate things that are there just to break us, and leave us broken. That bid us crumble into pieces uncountable; in whose aftermath one can hardly find that which made him whole in the first place. Maybe I’m just human and can’t see the whole picture or the intricate plan; forgive me for I’m seeing in first-person and it just hurts that bad. It hurts when all the resolve, courage and strength I gather leaves my side in an instant, my legs give out and my hands tremble, as my mind pours forth the memories ensemble.

Like a mad man I used to recite how important sincerity was. Repeating it over and over to the point it became second nature, and I poured out mine, all of it, into my bonds. Not realizing that they could be severed, and that opening my heart as big as I did would make it prone to bleed out. No one told me a big heart had so many demerits. That saying bismillah and making a promise does not validate it, that it will continue to haunt me because I felt too deeply. They say people fall, what if I told you I didn’t fall, rather I dived, deeper and deeper purposefully, to find a feeling profound, unique and truly heartfelt, and decorate my home with it. Would you believe me if I told you that it hurts even more than just falling.

© wolf’s cub