8 views
New beginnings
They say all good things come to an end at some point, memories come and go, and people live, love, and they pass on.
How real that became.
I met a new me this week.
She's a mother of two and a twenty-four-year-old author who is doing an Internal Auditing internship.
She loves God, more than she's ever known and God loves her way more than that.
She learned new ways to pray, had the first week without her gran, cried, and her new pet name is pumpkin.
She is married and grace is all over her. Her husband keeps her safe and above all else, she trusts Him more than she can ever trust herself.
His name is God, and through it all, He constantly shows her how much He loves her.
She has had a new beginners' week indeed. It seems so foreign to her, but she is embracing the change. It's the good kind.
She talks to this guy who feels so a part of her world like it's the most normal thing in the world. Off course, she values this friendship because this person makes her want to be in God's presence more, and she gets to go on and on to God about this guy.
She is enjoying that. This pure and healthy friendship that is blossoming into being.
Sometimes you lose, only to find. And that is what this is for her. A new find, and maybe over time, it's gonna be a gemstone that chooses a forever.
But of course, we are backing up for two seconds. She isn't looking for anything at the moment, and as she said, this is of pure intentions only.
But through God, she trusts.
***
Yesterday I missed my gran. I was speaking to someone about how I was robbed and how my mom and gran came over because they were worried about me.
Suddenly, a gush of emotions just flooded me, and I missed her so much. Her smile, radiates, and all her glory.
I'm going home over the weekend, and I really didn't want to because it's without my gran. I wanted to be alone and a part of me is saying go, you won't be alone in the house.
I guess I will go, and I know I will enjoy it. Although the memories and the pain make it hurt so much.
I spoke to someone and I realized that maybe I was grieving in a very interesting way. The kind of way I never thought existed. And for all that is good in the world, I hope that I'm doing this thing called grieving right.
I don't wanna bottle things up, hurt myself, being in a state of denial, but at the same time, I wanna be able to experience new growth, change, and new solace from letting off.
Does that sound weird?
Right now I wanna be able to get on track. Not to the way things were, I would be in denial if I thought life was still the same. It's not. I'm aware of that, but learning how to be without is confusing.
That's when I go to God.
I don't understand anything, nor do I get how this healing thing works, but I'm trusting God. I'm trusting His healing powers, I'm trusting His glory, His Majesty, and His Sovereignty.
Because it's the only thing. The only thing that makes sense, the only thing that brings solace, the only thing that makes me smile, that only thing that makes me look pretty, both on the inside and out.
New beginnings right?
I take the chance with Jesus Christ, my anchor, my greatest A team.
Who knows, new beginnings lead to better grounds.
***
-Black_Phoenix
© All Rights Reserved
How real that became.
I met a new me this week.
She's a mother of two and a twenty-four-year-old author who is doing an Internal Auditing internship.
She loves God, more than she's ever known and God loves her way more than that.
She learned new ways to pray, had the first week without her gran, cried, and her new pet name is pumpkin.
She is married and grace is all over her. Her husband keeps her safe and above all else, she trusts Him more than she can ever trust herself.
His name is God, and through it all, He constantly shows her how much He loves her.
She has had a new beginners' week indeed. It seems so foreign to her, but she is embracing the change. It's the good kind.
She talks to this guy who feels so a part of her world like it's the most normal thing in the world. Off course, she values this friendship because this person makes her want to be in God's presence more, and she gets to go on and on to God about this guy.
She is enjoying that. This pure and healthy friendship that is blossoming into being.
Sometimes you lose, only to find. And that is what this is for her. A new find, and maybe over time, it's gonna be a gemstone that chooses a forever.
But of course, we are backing up for two seconds. She isn't looking for anything at the moment, and as she said, this is of pure intentions only.
But through God, she trusts.
***
Yesterday I missed my gran. I was speaking to someone about how I was robbed and how my mom and gran came over because they were worried about me.
Suddenly, a gush of emotions just flooded me, and I missed her so much. Her smile, radiates, and all her glory.
I'm going home over the weekend, and I really didn't want to because it's without my gran. I wanted to be alone and a part of me is saying go, you won't be alone in the house.
I guess I will go, and I know I will enjoy it. Although the memories and the pain make it hurt so much.
I spoke to someone and I realized that maybe I was grieving in a very interesting way. The kind of way I never thought existed. And for all that is good in the world, I hope that I'm doing this thing called grieving right.
I don't wanna bottle things up, hurt myself, being in a state of denial, but at the same time, I wanna be able to experience new growth, change, and new solace from letting off.
Does that sound weird?
Right now I wanna be able to get on track. Not to the way things were, I would be in denial if I thought life was still the same. It's not. I'm aware of that, but learning how to be without is confusing.
That's when I go to God.
I don't understand anything, nor do I get how this healing thing works, but I'm trusting God. I'm trusting His healing powers, I'm trusting His glory, His Majesty, and His Sovereignty.
Because it's the only thing. The only thing that makes sense, the only thing that brings solace, the only thing that makes me smile, that only thing that makes me look pretty, both on the inside and out.
New beginnings right?
I take the chance with Jesus Christ, my anchor, my greatest A team.
Who knows, new beginnings lead to better grounds.
***
-Black_Phoenix
© All Rights Reserved
