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Chapter 3: Lost at sea 🌊
(Spiraling out of paradise)
Thoughts appear as pictures in Damian's mind as his heart became possessed by heartbreak, each heartbeat becoming more intolerable than the last... A soul mate that wasn't destined to last, one full of grace and hopefulness... or rather a perfect escape from his lonely brokenness. The path that once held boundless beauty in his eyes now a crumpled dream. The sweet breathe of pheromone filled air fading just out of grasp, comfort lying just out of reach, his path once certain to him disappearing right beneath his feet. So he sinks deep within himself, plagued by uncertainty. Although, it's not the breakup that has delt the final blow to his brittle spirits, rather the breaking apart of bottled up contents that have slowly eroded the walls he had kept up for far too long, dividing vital dimensions of his Whole Self.
Poor boy; He has spilt his last milk and broken his final straw, fragile, is the bridge he has built for the river his tears have caused.
Still... Damian's mind shifts to the realization that he had perhaps subconsciously spoon fed his Lover his very own repressed darkness. A pattern appears in the shadows that have engulfed his being, disappearing and re-appearing in her... Tiptoeing through his dreams, She and her elegant Feminine spirits danced well with his Anima as his kind and mysterious spirits matched up to her Animus~
So soon... So suddenly... So too it seemed she slowly purified him of his cold shadowy contents, with her warm energies, into something to be loved and perhaps even admired. A love he couldn't feel for himself for he was all too familiar with this poisonous admiration for his Darkest self and the animosity his Shadow held for Himself, a neglect to make amends lead to the war within himself and a resentment grew there where he was once neglected himself... A void opens within him, widening the gap between what he wants and what he needs for the sake of himself.
~A pattern repeated~
Although, the overarching narrative of Damian's soul remains partly unknown to him, what is unknown plays it's part twords his downfall, with glaring eyes, patiently awaiting for his next slip into chaos.
~He will learn~
Fight or Flight? A feeling familiar to Damian's inner world. A proper solution to this acidic overflow is yet to be discovered, with each palpitation his polluted subconscious leaks it's fowl contents into the outer world of experience, through his conscious self clouds form from toxic condensation, an obvious stormcloud looming over Damian's outer world... Thunder echos in his chest by what struggles violently to be seen in the spotlight of his minds Eye, His Highest Self...
This teacher with no face.
Still his heart races from forgotten faces of familiar pain, the only traces lead back to a core too deep to be see, lost in shadows of his forcefully forgotten shame.
Regret... Follows words spoken or unspoken, how does one know what words are worth speaking?
A laying to rest of what is no longer possible or beneficial...
Clinging to a dead system is to eat fruit in the form of an expired opportunity...
Sinking teeth into a rotting apple, making Love where Love is no longer...
Seeking kinship through one's own suffering, forming a Trauma bond.
Placing our own uncomfortable thoughts and feelings onto others and expect answers, or rather, recreate moment's of bitterness to better match these already decomposed thoughts and feelings.
...
Thoughts appear as pictures in Damian's mind as his heart became possessed by heartbreak, each heartbeat becoming more intolerable than the last... A soul mate that wasn't destined to last, one full of grace and hopefulness... or rather a perfect escape from his lonely brokenness. The path that once held boundless beauty in his eyes now a crumpled dream. The sweet breathe of pheromone filled air fading just out of grasp, comfort lying just out of reach, his path once certain to him disappearing right beneath his feet. So he sinks deep within himself, plagued by uncertainty. Although, it's not the breakup that has delt the final blow to his brittle spirits, rather the breaking apart of bottled up contents that have slowly eroded the walls he had kept up for far too long, dividing vital dimensions of his Whole Self.
Poor boy; He has spilt his last milk and broken his final straw, fragile, is the bridge he has built for the river his tears have caused.
Still... Damian's mind shifts to the realization that he had perhaps subconsciously spoon fed his Lover his very own repressed darkness. A pattern appears in the shadows that have engulfed his being, disappearing and re-appearing in her... Tiptoeing through his dreams, She and her elegant Feminine spirits danced well with his Anima as his kind and mysterious spirits matched up to her Animus~
So soon... So suddenly... So too it seemed she slowly purified him of his cold shadowy contents, with her warm energies, into something to be loved and perhaps even admired. A love he couldn't feel for himself for he was all too familiar with this poisonous admiration for his Darkest self and the animosity his Shadow held for Himself, a neglect to make amends lead to the war within himself and a resentment grew there where he was once neglected himself... A void opens within him, widening the gap between what he wants and what he needs for the sake of himself.
~A pattern repeated~
Although, the overarching narrative of Damian's soul remains partly unknown to him, what is unknown plays it's part twords his downfall, with glaring eyes, patiently awaiting for his next slip into chaos.
~He will learn~
Fight or Flight? A feeling familiar to Damian's inner world. A proper solution to this acidic overflow is yet to be discovered, with each palpitation his polluted subconscious leaks it's fowl contents into the outer world of experience, through his conscious self clouds form from toxic condensation, an obvious stormcloud looming over Damian's outer world... Thunder echos in his chest by what struggles violently to be seen in the spotlight of his minds Eye, His Highest Self...
This teacher with no face.
Still his heart races from forgotten faces of familiar pain, the only traces lead back to a core too deep to be see, lost in shadows of his forcefully forgotten shame.
Regret... Follows words spoken or unspoken, how does one know what words are worth speaking?
A laying to rest of what is no longer possible or beneficial...
Clinging to a dead system is to eat fruit in the form of an expired opportunity...
Sinking teeth into a rotting apple, making Love where Love is no longer...
Seeking kinship through one's own suffering, forming a Trauma bond.
Placing our own uncomfortable thoughts and feelings onto others and expect answers, or rather, recreate moment's of bitterness to better match these already decomposed thoughts and feelings.
...
