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Stuck
"Era, When will you get married?" Her little brother asked, "You will be 31 in 6 months ?" Era replied "I don't know...but I think about it every single day ."
Era was always in wonder and stress. She was 30 years old and still lived in her father's house, in debt, living pay cheque to pay cheque from an emotionally and physically exhaustive job, working in a work environment that drilled toxicity into her limbs yet She has not been physically and financially supportive to her family in a while.
During these moments she could not blame anyone but herself. She had tried everything right.Eyes on the prize (corporate ladder hyped)
The praying, the make-up and dressing to attract valuable menof Deen &Akhlaq , keeping a positive attitude and behaving well but all seem to be in vain. Went on at least one date but all in vain, she was still in the same place as a celibate or some call SSB (Single since Birth).
"Is there something wrong with me ?" she thought as she lay next to her 10-year-old brother. If only she could talk to someone and ask for guidance because she felt that she had lost the compass of her life. Questioning her life choices.
The habit of avoiding people and lacking social skills does not seem to go away because she keeps doubting if she can make the best choices for herself, especially a life partner. All these feelings make her feel like a social stigma.
She keeps living in fear of selecting a horrible father figure for her children because she knows that some things cannot be undone if she will ever have children at all.
After going through all this cycle of thoughts, She got up and decided to do a body workout. She did not like the shape of her face or body because her negative feelings were reflected in her obese body.
"let me start small and work on my health." she thought "Perhaps I should attend more social gatherings and make more friends.''
She feels a sharp pain in her chest. Her muscles can't take it anymore, maybe it is the pain of the weight that she is afraid to face.
Deep down she feels emotionally exhausted.
all in All, Era knows that she has to keep on going because we live in a world where there are no fairy tales and no prince is coming on a white horse.
She just has to keep on going and hold onto faith rather than live in fear.
After all, she has the Creator on her side.
In this journey, Era recognises that she is dispensable, She can least afford to see the doctor when she is sick thanks to Insurance,
She can always quit when it is too tiring and re-organise her life but she has to keep on going.
The sun will rise again regardless of anything.
She might be hungry for adventure and affection but she better afford it to enjoy every moment of it.
© sharifah Nakinaalwa
Era was always in wonder and stress. She was 30 years old and still lived in her father's house, in debt, living pay cheque to pay cheque from an emotionally and physically exhaustive job, working in a work environment that drilled toxicity into her limbs yet She has not been physically and financially supportive to her family in a while.
During these moments she could not blame anyone but herself. She had tried everything right.Eyes on the prize (corporate ladder hyped)
The praying, the make-up and dressing to attract valuable menof Deen &Akhlaq , keeping a positive attitude and behaving well but all seem to be in vain. Went on at least one date but all in vain, she was still in the same place as a celibate or some call SSB (Single since Birth).
"Is there something wrong with me ?" she thought as she lay next to her 10-year-old brother. If only she could talk to someone and ask for guidance because she felt that she had lost the compass of her life. Questioning her life choices.
The habit of avoiding people and lacking social skills does not seem to go away because she keeps doubting if she can make the best choices for herself, especially a life partner. All these feelings make her feel like a social stigma.
She keeps living in fear of selecting a horrible father figure for her children because she knows that some things cannot be undone if she will ever have children at all.
After going through all this cycle of thoughts, She got up and decided to do a body workout. She did not like the shape of her face or body because her negative feelings were reflected in her obese body.
"let me start small and work on my health." she thought "Perhaps I should attend more social gatherings and make more friends.''
She feels a sharp pain in her chest. Her muscles can't take it anymore, maybe it is the pain of the weight that she is afraid to face.
Deep down she feels emotionally exhausted.
all in All, Era knows that she has to keep on going because we live in a world where there are no fairy tales and no prince is coming on a white horse.
She just has to keep on going and hold onto faith rather than live in fear.
After all, she has the Creator on her side.
In this journey, Era recognises that she is dispensable, She can least afford to see the doctor when she is sick thanks to Insurance,
She can always quit when it is too tiring and re-organise her life but she has to keep on going.
The sun will rise again regardless of anything.
She might be hungry for adventure and affection but she better afford it to enjoy every moment of it.
© sharifah Nakinaalwa
