#ranibooks
You would not believe the day I had.
Like a spec of dust that I am,
I had been tossed left and right.
Doing the bidding of so-called noble men.

I walked on home with weary feet
As wobbly as my feet could move me
I couldn't go home yet...
Not home.

For home was an abandoned alley
Where dirt buckets and flies played tag.
Where the cats learned to say my name,
And sing it's chorus to welcome me back.

I needed to fill my stomach
With bread at the very least.
Not caring if anything else existed
On the menu of my dream restaurant.

The day seemed special
Some sort of ritual.
I could only wish that the light
Would snuff out from the lovely faces I sighted.

The screams of children,
Laughter of the grownups
And the love I could sniff in the air,
Only made my stomach turn.

I walked in silence
Listening to the whispers of near darkness
That was fast calling as the voice of the world
Faded to the background.

Did I always have this scar on my cheek?
Was my face always this freckled?
Why do I look like a ghost?
So pale and white... must've been the cold.

I noticed how the corners of my lips
Tilted upwards slowly.
I felt them crack, for so dry they were.
I thought I could smile one more time.

But I saw only the demon inside
A simple smile, seemed and looked
Exactly like the horror you see
Under blinking lights at an old hospital.

I could only see the screams
That travelled throughout my veins
Pleading for release
That I would not grant it.

I stood there
Wondering why I saw myself
For who I was ... clearly.
For the first time in years.

Something surprised me
A white spark of movement
Above my head, dancing slowly on its own
Landed on my forehead.

It was cold, flakey and a reminder.
A wicked, wicked reminder.
That only made me realize
That I had once again, stared into a mirror.

© rani