I was once a student who eagerly wants to be the top student in my class and school.

I always wanted to be the top student not because my parents wanted me to, but it was my passion, my happiness, my everything.

I'm attending every competitions that I can, and I know that I can, back then.

I am happy with all my awards, my medals, certificates and trophies. I value them too much, and I have a solo room for them.

That was my personal space other than my own room. I'm always there back then, I study their everytime, and my parents was like, "We're going to burn everything inside this room if you'll stay here even longer!"

And I was like, "okay, okay. I'll be out of here. Just put your hands off my things."

Back then, I'll locked up myself in that room and remove every dirt on my things.

Then I graduated in high school.

I was so happy that time, because I am the top student of my class and became a legend of that school. Everyone were proud of me, and also I am.

I was so excited to go to college after that.

I even had my course right after my graduation.

I was so motivated to go to college because I know I can, and a new journey will open up for me.

I bought books that I know I can use for my studies.

I studied day and night.

My parents wanted me to take a break, just a week break, but I don't want to.

That's why they collected all my books when I was sleeping and told me that I don't have a choice.

I tried not to study. I really tried. But after a day, I gave up.

I told them that I feel like I am empty and stupid if I'm not studying. And threatened them to kill my self If they won't bring those back.

Of Course it was just an act, I don't wanna die at a young age.

But they thought I was really going to do it that's why they gave up and ended the argument.

I literally hugged my books after having them back again in my arms.

I was so happy that I checked every pages if they have little damage but none.

Then I started my college life. I was so confident that I can finish that up.

I was so confident because I had studied everything.

Things started well. I became the star of my block section. And professors are so into me, and I easily became known.

They looked into me so much, expectations were there and I was so happy about that. I wanted to prove them that I am worthy of their expectations.

But things were not that easy.

Little by little I became exhausted.

Expectations were still their and I don't want to disappoint anyone.

Preliminary Examinations came.

I thought it will be just fine, but then, before that examination, loads of paper works and activities were given to us and will be submitted before or on the day of the examination.

I was so exhausted. Because I need to finish everything on time, I didn't got a time to review well for the examination.

I don't had the time to review and gave all my attention to those works.

Even time management don't work.

Sleepless nights came. I got only 2-5 hours of sleep everyday because of the paper works and other activities.

I slowly became sick of everything, I became tired.

I am human, and getting tired is just normal, but how can I finish everything up on time if there's not only one subject I'm taking?

Time passed, my happiness became my sadness, and my sadness became my happiness.

Sleeping became my happy hours , and studying became my nightmare.

I knew that time that I'm not happy anymore.

I wanted to take a break from school but I will be irregular student if that happens, and being irregular means you need to chase every single units you've missed.

So I continued all the way.

Many people were looking down at me after that. I disappointed them. But they can't do anything about my changes.

Education changed me, both good and bad way.

Being the top student became my least priority. And just to get out of this jail which is the school became my priority even without an award or something.

I talked to my parents about that and it was fine for them, they told me that they don't expect anything, and that I was just the one who puts pressure on my shoulders.

They just told me to enjoy studying and will be out of school soon. They even told me that there's nothing wrong if I'll take a break. But I decided not to.

I learned that students are robots of schools where every commands must be completely done in order to graduate.