There are times I stop to think, when I allow my thoughts to overwhelm me and I lose myself. drift away for a while in the ocean. let the waves crash over me through violent calms and tiresome storms. I may need a nudge, or a pinch, a choke. maybe a tight rope around my throat to pull me back to reality. it takes me a while to respond to people, genuinely, in conversation. I heard you. I process and filter just like the rest of you. it may take a while for a thought or two to make it’s way through. my first thought depressing, my next one is sarcastic, oh, don’t get upset. you are so fucking dramatic. then you’re upset and I am pissed because clearly the point I was making was missed. I need a translator. from bitch to cognitive or maybe a bit polite. but no matter what I seem to say, I’m always the asshole. my love is the abuse. that comes with dealing with the wrong things I do. the little things I do. I could show you in every way my affection but the moment you bring me out in public with family I shut down in total panic. so you leave. like the last one. I’m freaking out sometimes. I don’t like being in crowded spaces. put your family on top of that and it just stresses me out even more. I can’t medicate before seeing them and my reaction time and self loathing inducing anxiety attacks…. I’m having one now… I’m not a social creature. honestly I’m a...