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How I crave for love...
Today morning too I got up late.as soon as I checked the time,I gasped..! not that iam never late but I should try to go early atleast..as they say...I go to washroom and take my time. then I come back,eat breakfast,and my mom comb's my hair,I tie my shoe and I again check time,only to find it's 9:00 already!shit!..
after I come out from my house,I find iam now less panic..it's no surprise that iam not bothered..iam always late and now even teachers might be less caring...huh! how I wish myself to be a place where there will be lot of people to love me and take care of me and my feelings...but there are none..!
I slowly walk, adjusting my almost-torn-bag, and keep walking as I ignore the stares people giving me, with me wearing a sweater in a hot weather...how can I explain to someone how I feel about my body?...as I increase my pace, I see a little dog, all hungry and dirty. but this doesn't mean it's dangerous and I should not afraid of him...but no matter what I think, somewhere in my mind,iam afraid of him...he give me this look that can't be explained but I can still see,even he is afraid of me somewhere...only If i can do anythingthing about it...
Now,iam half way through the school, I find myself near the walking garden. oh, how I love walking..!! I see a old couple jogging and laughing light-hearted-ly..I envy them..but I wonder too, if I can be that fit in my future? and will there be anyone to accompany me for a walk?like them?..I don't know...
finally, I reached school..but I don't know how to go inside..I mean,it's four years since iam studying here and I still get nervous... because I always feel embarss..here most of the kids are happy and jolly and not to mention so fit and fine... but me? iam so....unfit. and that's why I wear a sweater which helps me hide..even from my family....if you know what I mean...
I entered the building and walking upstairs to the first floor..iam scared and nervous like hell!! this is my last and important year and I still come late..I wish there was atleast one person to understand me..but maybe I don't deserve? huh..!!
I knocked the door three or four times now and iam still waiting outside anxiously...if principal sees me, he would...
after I come out from my house,I find iam now less panic..it's no surprise that iam not bothered..iam always late and now even teachers might be less caring...huh! how I wish myself to be a place where there will be lot of people to love me and take care of me and my feelings...but there are none..!
I slowly walk, adjusting my almost-torn-bag, and keep walking as I ignore the stares people giving me, with me wearing a sweater in a hot weather...how can I explain to someone how I feel about my body?...as I increase my pace, I see a little dog, all hungry and dirty. but this doesn't mean it's dangerous and I should not afraid of him...but no matter what I think, somewhere in my mind,iam afraid of him...he give me this look that can't be explained but I can still see,even he is afraid of me somewhere...only If i can do anythingthing about it...
Now,iam half way through the school, I find myself near the walking garden. oh, how I love walking..!! I see a old couple jogging and laughing light-hearted-ly..I envy them..but I wonder too, if I can be that fit in my future? and will there be anyone to accompany me for a walk?like them?..I don't know...
finally, I reached school..but I don't know how to go inside..I mean,it's four years since iam studying here and I still get nervous... because I always feel embarss..here most of the kids are happy and jolly and not to mention so fit and fine... but me? iam so....unfit. and that's why I wear a sweater which helps me hide..even from my family....if you know what I mean...
I entered the building and walking upstairs to the first floor..iam scared and nervous like hell!! this is my last and important year and I still come late..I wish there was atleast one person to understand me..but maybe I don't deserve? huh..!!
I knocked the door three or four times now and iam still waiting outside anxiously...if principal sees me, he would...
