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I just want to be a good son: Part ø? (jjba)
(I was originally using this to vent/project onto poor Jonathan Joestar, but honestly, I might actually write more on this. lol)
Jonathan had always tried his best to be the best that he could. Every action he took and every decision he made was based off of one person. His beloved father. Jonathans choices were not his own, but ones he believed would ultimately benefit or please his father. He would never do anything to disrespect or anger his father on purpose. He wanted to always be on his fathers side, even if he didn't always agree with him. He was, after all, a wonderful man. A good person in every sense of the word. Jonathan respected nobody more than his father. All of this was why it hurt so much...
Jonathan was always anxious. Almost every moment of every day, it seemed. It was like this because despite his best efforts, he always seemed to do poor in his fathers eyes at some point. Scoldings were not uncommon. Jonathan was often called a fool or told that he was misbehaven or uncivilized. The shame would follow. The shame that wet and burned his eyes and sent him running off to his room to weep like a boy. He hated being a disappointment, an inconvenience, an embarrassment, and perhaps, even a burden to his father. Those were things he'd wanted to avoid at all costs, yet they seemed to be common occurrences. He was hurting his father and, in his own eyes, that was the worst act Jonathan could commit. The issue was that be couldn't find a way to avoid it.
Ever since Dio began living with them, it seemed Jonathan couldn't keep himself from hurting his father. He was angry at Dio. It was all his fault! These things wouldn't happen if it weren't for him! It was so unfair how it was only ever Jonathan that got scolded in such a way that made him look like a horrible son. Dio never made such offensive mistakes. Jonathan though about it time and time again, but as the years passed, he couldn't help but feel as though he, himself, was to blame. He would have done a lot of these things even without Dio's interference. It wasn't that he was trying to upset anyone, it was just that he could never pinpoint what actions would upset his father or which things he should do or avoid doing in order to please him. There was always something he failed to consider, and so, he would fail his father.
This was the seemingly endless cycle of fear and anticipation of his next blunder. This was the life of the young Jonathan Joestar.
Jonathan had always tried his best to be the best that he could. Every action he took and every decision he made was based off of one person. His beloved father. Jonathans choices were not his own, but ones he believed would ultimately benefit or please his father. He would never do anything to disrespect or anger his father on purpose. He wanted to always be on his fathers side, even if he didn't always agree with him. He was, after all, a wonderful man. A good person in every sense of the word. Jonathan respected nobody more than his father. All of this was why it hurt so much...
Jonathan was always anxious. Almost every moment of every day, it seemed. It was like this because despite his best efforts, he always seemed to do poor in his fathers eyes at some point. Scoldings were not uncommon. Jonathan was often called a fool or told that he was misbehaven or uncivilized. The shame would follow. The shame that wet and burned his eyes and sent him running off to his room to weep like a boy. He hated being a disappointment, an inconvenience, an embarrassment, and perhaps, even a burden to his father. Those were things he'd wanted to avoid at all costs, yet they seemed to be common occurrences. He was hurting his father and, in his own eyes, that was the worst act Jonathan could commit. The issue was that be couldn't find a way to avoid it.
Ever since Dio began living with them, it seemed Jonathan couldn't keep himself from hurting his father. He was angry at Dio. It was all his fault! These things wouldn't happen if it weren't for him! It was so unfair how it was only ever Jonathan that got scolded in such a way that made him look like a horrible son. Dio never made such offensive mistakes. Jonathan though about it time and time again, but as the years passed, he couldn't help but feel as though he, himself, was to blame. He would have done a lot of these things even without Dio's interference. It wasn't that he was trying to upset anyone, it was just that he could never pinpoint what actions would upset his father or which things he should do or avoid doing in order to please him. There was always something he failed to consider, and so, he would fail his father.
This was the seemingly endless cycle of fear and anticipation of his next blunder. This was the life of the young Jonathan Joestar.
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