Luis's POV:

Monday, June 20, 2022. I still remember that time when Kia messaged me to meet after work. By the way Kia is my girlfriend. We have been in a relationship for 1 year and 2 months.

After work, I immediately went to see her. She was just sitting in the park and seemed to be deep in thought. I sat next to her and she immediately looked at me. I was surprised by what she quickly said...

"Jarred, let's break up." Something she said to me that I still can't forget.

Her parents will send her to Canada and they want to separate us because they are going to introduce someone to their daughter. Kia told me everything her parents said and planned. She could not disobey or fight for me because of the threat of her parents. She didn't want me to be involved anymore so she rejected what I said I could fight for her. I didn't do anything else because she had already made a decision. She followed what her parents said. She chose to go to Canada rather than stay. I can't blame her for that decision. But the pain she caused remained in my heart. I told all this to my friends. They sympathized with me and joined me for a drink. At least it helped make me feel a little better. I told myself I would be strong and forget her too. In the following days and almost 2 months I dedicated all my time to work. I often stay overnight and come home late. I also often join my coworkers to have fun and drink at the bar. Sometimes Hans would say hello to me and ask what I was up to. All I said was work. Pres and the others also has no idea what I'm doing.

I did that over and over again. Just work and drink afterwards. I don't know if mom and my sister notice that too. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore.

Until the month of July came. While I was at work, my sister Jerille suddenly called. She was crying while saying that mom was rushed to the hospital. I quickly went there. I found out that mom is seriously ill. She has a heart disease. Now I know why I also have a weak heart. It turns out that mom's family has a history of heart disease and even she has it. But what's more painful is that it is not the only thing she experiences. She also has anxiety and asthma. I never noticed it. Is it because I was too focused on studying and working in the past? If I had known all this, would it have been dealt with immediately?

We talked to her and encouraged her to have an operation on her heart because that was the only way for her to recover. There really is no other choice. If it can't be done right away, I know where it's going and I'm sure I won't be able to handle it.

No matter what we ask her, she really doesn't want it. She even said she was tired. She doesn't want to add to our problem. She even begged us not to tell dad.

Dad has been abroad for five months because he was promoted at work. Dad sends more than we need. I suddenly remembered that I had already spent a lot of the money he was giving me. I spent more than what was left. We don't have a problem with the money because we can afford the surgery for mom, but I also don't understand why she really doesn't want to.

She said she's not afraid to have an operation but she just really doesn't want to. She has been in the hospital for one week. She is also begging us that she wants to go home. We did not agree. I said if she doesn't want to have an operation, it's better to stay here. I am satisfied that she will be safer, especially since the doctors and nurses are there to take care of her when we are not there.

There are days when Hans asks to meet but because I am also busy at work, I refuse him. I don't tell anyone about mom. I know Pres is also busy because their company has a big project to do. I don't want to bother him anymore. Meanwhile, Hans is having some trouble with his brother Lance because of his constant running away from school. Jonas was taken by his mommy to Australia. As for Ryle, who I know is also struggling because his fiancee is in the states. Jaydi, on the other hand, has a lot of work to do because his dad is putting too much pressure on him. And Zed is also busy helping his sister for the preparation of their opening business collaboration with a big company. That is also a big opportunity for their family business that they are trying to save because it is almost bankrupt.

I want to tell them but I don't want them to just worry and add to their problems. Now, I'm just trying to be strong.

August 15, 2022 when I turned 24 years old. I have no intention of celebrating because I'm not in the mood either. Jonas messaged me that he just came back from Australia. He said he wanted to surprise the others so he only told me first. I picked him up at the airport and we went straight to their resort. He said he will stay there first. But to my surprise when I entered the gate, they were all there. Instead of them being surprised because Jonas had just returned home, I was the one who was surprised. They know that this guy is coming home. I remembered it was my birthday. They did it on purpose, they planned to surprise me on my birthday. I didn't expect them to make time for me. I really appreciate their efforts. I enjoyed it a lot. I thanked them after the fun was over.

But unexpectedly, on August 19, 2022, I received a message from the hospital. "Mom is gone" I kept saying as I left the building. I immediately drove to the hospital. I'm trying to calm down but I'm shaking. I almost hit a pole on the side of the road because I was losing focus. I woke up to reality and turned my attention to driving again. I quickly reached the hospital. After I got out of the car, I ran quickly inside. I caught up with Jerille and dad who were crying. Dad just came home, I'm sure Jerille brought him home. I was approaching them when the doctor came out of the OR.

"I'm so sorry. We did our best but the patient didn't make it." The doctor explained and immediately left.

My world collapsed when I heard it. I didn't even catch up with mom. She told me earlier that I should be careful going to work. I remember the way she smiled at me as I said goodbye to leave and go to the office. If only I had known, I would have stayed by her side.

I saw a lot of disappointment on my father's face. He said...

"I caught up with her ...I just got in here. She was being rushed to the OR. She even smiled at me." And he started to cry.

I feel sorry for him because he knows everything too late. In those five months that they were away from each other. I know everything is hard for him too.
We apologized to him because we were not able to tell about mom right away. I also blame myself because I didn't even have the courage to confess it to him. Good thing Jerille is stronger than me, she was able to make a decision and tell dad. At least he and mom met for the last time.

I'm having a hard time processing everything. I'm so messed up. For the next few days, I couldn't even eat properly. I took a leave from work first. I was often stunned while looking at her coffin. I lost hope like dad. He also often drank and came home late. I woke up at three in the morning and found him crying in front of mom's coffin. The pain feels really painful. My heart always breaks every time I see Jerille cry. There are times when I see her eating with tears in her eyes. She still trying to go to school and focus on her studies despite what is happening. I am very proud of her. She wasn't like me who has lost the way back.

There are times when my heart hurts but I don't pay much attention to it. Yes, I have a weak heart and I also take some medications. I'm only relying on medicine because I don't want to consult a doctor again. It's not that I'm afraid of what he'll say, it's that I don't care about it. If it ever gets worse, so be it.

I meet Pres many times. I always try to hide the sadness I feel and act like everything is okay. I don't know if he also notices something strange? I hope he won't. September 1 when I met Pres outside their building. I come from the mall and pharmacy to buy my medicines. Fortunately, it was not obvious what the contents of my purchases were because they were wrapped in a paper bag.

Mom was buried the next day. My sister asked me if my friends knew about it. I said I really can't tell them.

After mom's funeral, I stayed here in her grave. They all went home including dad and Jerille. I talked to mom for a while.

"Mom, why didn't you wait for me? I wish I could have said goodbye to you. Mom, I don't know what to do. I'm having a lot of trouble. What's going on, mom? Please help me ease this pain that I feel. Can I handle it?" I said while silently crying.

I came home late after that. I went to the bar but I didn't get too drunk either. When I got home, I immediately fell asleep because I was so tired. The next day, every week, I kept on crying and locking myself in my room. I didn't go out, nor did I want to eat again. Jerille was crying the night she served me the food she cooked.

"Please brother... Don't you notice that I'm having a hard time too. I'm trying to be strong for you too. Please just eat!" My tears flowed from what I heard from her. She never yelled at me before. She also rarely speaks. I realized...Yes, I'm not the only one struggling.

I took the food immediately. I had tears in my eyes while eating. I know Jerille is just looking at me. I'm sure it hurts her to see me like this so I actually ate all the food she prepared for me. She hugged me after I finished it all.

"Brother, I didn't mean to yell at you, huh. Don't think that I'm mad at you. Just don't say it again because... b-because I'm worried about you." Her sobbing while hugging me.

The very next morning it was Monday again so I thought about going back to work. I also thought I was okay but I'm not yet. Too much to take care of at the office. I've been stressed all day with so much work. I stayed overnight again. I told my sister that I would be home at 2 in the morning. She replied to my chat and said, "Can't you just leave it for tomorrow brother? I don't have anyone here at home even dad stayed overnight at his work."

I replied back...
"You're big Jerille, don't tell me you're afraid to be alone there???" I joked with her so she wouldn't worry anymore because I know she's definitely worried about me again.

I finally got home. It's 2:02 am... I have a headache. I also felt a little worse so I took medicine. I don't know but it doesn't seem like it's going away. I just want to disappear from the world. I don't want it anymore, it's too much. Because I was so annoyed and couldn't think straight anymore, I took a lot of medicine. After that I became weak and my whole vision went dark.

I just woke up in the hospital. I realized, it's been a little long time passed before I woke up. I can see the great concern of dad and Jerille again. I'm sad but it seems like I'm numb now. They let me rest first. At night when I saw they were looking for me in gc. I immediately replied to Jonas's chat.

"Why are you looking for me? Did you miss me? HAHAHA" I joked with them.

"Yes, bro, who can't miss you? We chatted with you a while ago, but you didn't reply." Zed said this.

"HAHA sorry, too busy with work." Well, I'm lying again.

We talked in our gc for a few hours. They're just keeps on talking some nonsense. But they actually make me feel better. When I felt sleepy, I immediately said goodbye to them. I slept well that night, but in the days that followed, I always dreamed of mom. Some people are chasing us. We tried to run here but mom fell down and I couldn't save her. Little by little, she was kept away from me. I can't move from where I'm standing. I woke up quietly crying. Since then I have not been able to sleep well. It always happens every night.

-----------Time Skipped------------

It's already Saturday, September 10. This is the day we all agreed that we will meet each others in Ryle's Mansion. I woke up early so I went to the park to meditate or think. Around 8:30 am, my sister sent a message and asked where I was. I said I'm only at the park. She asked me to come home to eat and I did. At 9:30 am I thought of going to the mall to buy groceries because the refrigerator was empty. There I met Pres.

"Hey bro, you're here too, what if we go to the mansion together?" Pres suggested.

"Maybe just go first, I'm going somewhere else. Take care on the way." I answered him.

"Ah okay, be careful too." And he waved his hands.

After I brought home the groceries, I immediately drove to the seaside. I didn't get to say goodbye to Jerille because she wasn't at home either. She might be with her classmates.

I was walking along the seaside when I saw a hammock here. I sat here just watching the sky. Hans chatted with me and asked where I was. I immediately replied and said that I was just at the seaside.

Will it rain? I asked myself. I closed my eyes and when I opened them I saw mom. She smiled at me as she walks towards me. I stood up from sitting on the hammock and let her sit there. I don't know but all I feel now is joy. A woman passed by so I thought of asking her to take a us picture here. I swing the cradle for mom while the girl was taking pictures of me. I immediately thanked that girl. After I saw the photo, I immediately decided to post it on my facebook and added the caption "I will accompany you and I will always swing the cradle for you here"

Later, mom is no longer in the cradle. I ran without knowing the direction. I watched her go down into the sea. I took off my jacket and put my wallet and cellphone there. I just left it on the seashore. I also went down to the sea. Mom is very far away. I can't catch up with her. The water was almost up to my neck. I reached the huge rock there. It is said that beyond this rock is very deep. I screamed worriedly...

"Mom, where are you???" I burst into tears.

Suddenly I felt a cold wind blowing. The sky is cloudy. I suddenly returned to my trance... Of course mom is gone. I feel worse again. I am now standing on this rock. I hear someone calling but it's not clear. I feel so sick right now. Later I decided to jump.

As soon as I fell into the water, my whole body went numb. My vision is also blurry... I saw someone approaching me. I think it's a girl. That person grabbed me but I immediately released her grip on me and pushed  her away. In my blurry vision, I was sure that person was moving away. She is sinking.

Is this the end of me? Until my vision completely darkened.

To be continued...

@Jazzryl 11/12/23
© Jazzrylme_justreal