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Who do you see - 4am
#2amWritings
Tw
Literally a 4am vent because when all else fails get up and write >>>
Roll your dice on my life as though you have control over it. Believe something good is going on, yet I'm left weeping late at night in the silence of the realization.
Praying and wishing that I could be who I want instead of who you expect me to be. Praying that maybe I could find a place to belong, where I don't have to hide myself. But am I really hiding myself now?
You know who I am, yet you choose to treat me as who you knew those years ago. So why then?
Meeting your expectations just bring me sorrow, because they'll always go higher.
And I don't even get the pleasure of hearing my name instead of hers as you introduce me to someone new. So who am I to you?
Can I truly be anything or just anything you want?
No. You're not supposed to be in control of my life. Why am I letting you do this?
Just see me for once. Why is it that you're looking at me but you don't see me? Who do you see? Do you still see her? I've done what I can do to forget her. Why won't you then?
She isn't me and I hate hearing her name as my own. I hate having to live as her, talk as she does, and yet you never take notice.
You blame me for never getting better. You blame me for my issues with myself. You don't even try to help.
Say you love me all you want to. Buy me things to show myself to the world.
But if you're going to do that then why plague me still with that cursed phrase? That cursed introduction?
And then you never know, I'm left sitting up at night cursing life for never allowing me to belong somewhere. Never letting me live as myself. Never letting me see myself in the mirror.
And millions of questions plague my mind, millions of ideas and thoughts and worries. And one always stands
"So what now?"
© ms160
Tw
Literally a 4am vent because when all else fails get up and write >>>
Roll your dice on my life as though you have control over it. Believe something good is going on, yet I'm left weeping late at night in the silence of the realization.
Praying and wishing that I could be who I want instead of who you expect me to be. Praying that maybe I could find a place to belong, where I don't have to hide myself. But am I really hiding myself now?
You know who I am, yet you choose to treat me as who you knew those years ago. So why then?
Meeting your expectations just bring me sorrow, because they'll always go higher.
And I don't even get the pleasure of hearing my name instead of hers as you introduce me to someone new. So who am I to you?
Can I truly be anything or just anything you want?
No. You're not supposed to be in control of my life. Why am I letting you do this?
Just see me for once. Why is it that you're looking at me but you don't see me? Who do you see? Do you still see her? I've done what I can do to forget her. Why won't you then?
She isn't me and I hate hearing her name as my own. I hate having to live as her, talk as she does, and yet you never take notice.
You blame me for never getting better. You blame me for my issues with myself. You don't even try to help.
Say you love me all you want to. Buy me things to show myself to the world.
But if you're going to do that then why plague me still with that cursed phrase? That cursed introduction?
And then you never know, I'm left sitting up at night cursing life for never allowing me to belong somewhere. Never letting me live as myself. Never letting me see myself in the mirror.
And millions of questions plague my mind, millions of ideas and thoughts and worries. And one always stands
"So what now?"
© ms160
