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I Dare Not Do Otherwise.
Heeeey, Sarah, come here!.
These are the four words that my mother could utter and I shrink to nothingness. Of course my name is there, and it's not just a word, but the stress and intonation with which it came forth from my mother's mouth indicated more trouble. I may not have done something unseemly, but over the years, I have learnt to relate the words with immense displeasure becoming of an irritated Mom.
And so this particular day, when I heard a hush sound from the kitchen as of someone who was about to open her mouth, I was right there pleading my case. It is not the first time that this is happening to me, and at some point my mother had to take me to hospital to be checked out and seen whether I was normal or some funny disease like schizophrenia was creeping up on me. I did not resist her decision although deep inside me I knew the reason to my behavior, and what's funny I had predicted what the doctors will diagnose me of, but either way we went. If you have been through this stage, at least I am going to believe that you have learnt alot, or the world has taught you a token of what you ought to know, but you see, the world is not your guardian, it can barely babyproof its vices from you because still, it wants you to taste of its good, and yet have an equal share of its baddest so as you learn by yourself and perhaps decide whether you are going to be its follower because we know that she, who is not by the mother taught, will find correction in the world's own routine. But this was not the case with me, I was well bred if I can say it, I was really purely well bred, in a family of pious, zealous parents.
Being the second born in a family of six, I had cultivated a spirit of rebellion, which was not a good one at all even to my health of mind because once you have a conscience sound enough to convict you of the wrongs and rights, you grieve your personality so much when you seem to be righting wrongs and vice versa. What made it altogether worse is the fact that, none among my siblings seemed to hold such an objectionable trait in our family, and this sometimes made me feel like they were all against me, but either way I rejoiced at the fact that I was being unique and "industrious".
Teenage years can be detrimental to ones character and behavior if unwisely spent. And that is exactly what I was doing, and I knew it. Let no one lie to you that they do what they are doing now because they don't know what they are doing, no, that would be a big lie. I engaged in demoralizing acts in my teenagehood because I felt like I just had to, in order to fit into "class" with those who labelled themselves "bad girls". And because they (referring to my company of girls) were from rich and renown families, I just couldn't resist the urge to get acquainted with them, not because they were attractive from the looks, but because everytime we met, they had lots and lots of things to showcase...
These are the four words that my mother could utter and I shrink to nothingness. Of course my name is there, and it's not just a word, but the stress and intonation with which it came forth from my mother's mouth indicated more trouble. I may not have done something unseemly, but over the years, I have learnt to relate the words with immense displeasure becoming of an irritated Mom.
And so this particular day, when I heard a hush sound from the kitchen as of someone who was about to open her mouth, I was right there pleading my case. It is not the first time that this is happening to me, and at some point my mother had to take me to hospital to be checked out and seen whether I was normal or some funny disease like schizophrenia was creeping up on me. I did not resist her decision although deep inside me I knew the reason to my behavior, and what's funny I had predicted what the doctors will diagnose me of, but either way we went. If you have been through this stage, at least I am going to believe that you have learnt alot, or the world has taught you a token of what you ought to know, but you see, the world is not your guardian, it can barely babyproof its vices from you because still, it wants you to taste of its good, and yet have an equal share of its baddest so as you learn by yourself and perhaps decide whether you are going to be its follower because we know that she, who is not by the mother taught, will find correction in the world's own routine. But this was not the case with me, I was well bred if I can say it, I was really purely well bred, in a family of pious, zealous parents.
Being the second born in a family of six, I had cultivated a spirit of rebellion, which was not a good one at all even to my health of mind because once you have a conscience sound enough to convict you of the wrongs and rights, you grieve your personality so much when you seem to be righting wrongs and vice versa. What made it altogether worse is the fact that, none among my siblings seemed to hold such an objectionable trait in our family, and this sometimes made me feel like they were all against me, but either way I rejoiced at the fact that I was being unique and "industrious".
Teenage years can be detrimental to ones character and behavior if unwisely spent. And that is exactly what I was doing, and I knew it. Let no one lie to you that they do what they are doing now because they don't know what they are doing, no, that would be a big lie. I engaged in demoralizing acts in my teenagehood because I felt like I just had to, in order to fit into "class" with those who labelled themselves "bad girls". And because they (referring to my company of girls) were from rich and renown families, I just couldn't resist the urge to get acquainted with them, not because they were attractive from the looks, but because everytime we met, they had lots and lots of things to showcase...
