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Bad life
So, this is a real incident that happened with me.
My 10th class recently got over and i was ready and chose maths.
As obvious i chose to prepare for iit, my brother knows theres not a good college around so i chose distance program of am educational organization. The fees of the program was around 7000 per month, and my family income was not much to meet this demand. My father never said no,he agreed. After sometime,it became enormously hard to pay for it due to covid. It was when I realised he's in too much tension. Some family member told him he'll give him 50k for some work in exchange. He thought he'll pay my fees with this money and make it away. Now at this point of time,i want you to know a little bit about me:
I am an introverted person.I was born with an unclear speech which till now is unclear.So i found no freinds but i like spending time with him and slowly started understanding him and got attached to him.pretty much.Then on,i didn't had much freinds.Just a few which i rarely met.
Now.jumping back to present, he got the job done.Now, he asked for money but he didn't recieved any. Now, the situation is:
' This man got betrayed by his own family, and he didn't recieved his salary ,so basically he didn't have any money in hand for next month cause he spent it all thinking they'll give it' .
He was devastated and started ignoring his health. His health began to worsen very much.
One day i was done with studies and when I slept ,it was around 5:00 AM in morning. I saw my father having a cardiac arrest in my dreams and dying right in spot. I woke up sweating and heated his voice and slept. Next morning, i was woken up by my brother's panic voice i woke up to see my father fainted right in hall. The moment it happened first of all i didn't believed it was a dream or real, after a few seconds I knew it was real. I called for help and tried to take him to hospital within 5 min, i called my mom and my brother said bring mom to hospital and went in car thanks to neighbours holding and supporting dad.
After 10 mins,we went there to find out he's no more. I was in complete shock, it was the last time i ever cried . I went to severe depression and sleepless nights, trying to avoid everything suffering alone. Because now, if i say i wanna die i don't wanna live,that women will automatically end up dying .
Somehow I came to 12th ,i thought I felt a little good but then cbse changed exam pattern to a rather uncomforting one. My teachers started mocking me,there was this one guy who pushed to the point wher i came home and started crying in bed,luckily no one was home. I somehow passed with 55% in +2. Then came a point where i wasn't able to clear any exam simply because i don't know anything due to my past experiences. I just had thoughts to die, sleepless night, and might have died also if not for that one freind.
I took drop and when I took it,i found out that jee main is happening in 2 months and i didn't have any knowledge of anything as you know nta was pretty controversial this year.
Then somehow I cleared jee main and hopefully I could get into any good goverment college. I didnt pushed further for iit as it was too much i beared already.
Lessons you can learn from this is: your board exams never define what you are,so, if your teachers say you can't do anything in life if you score bad, you can shut them up.
But that's not the issue,the issue is we put 3-4 years of study just to get an iit or nit tag, is it even worth it?...Thats an topic to discuss about in comment section in a decent way of you want to or a thought if you wish to sthink about later...
thank you for reading
© All Rights Reserved
My 10th class recently got over and i was ready and chose maths.
As obvious i chose to prepare for iit, my brother knows theres not a good college around so i chose distance program of am educational organization. The fees of the program was around 7000 per month, and my family income was not much to meet this demand. My father never said no,he agreed. After sometime,it became enormously hard to pay for it due to covid. It was when I realised he's in too much tension. Some family member told him he'll give him 50k for some work in exchange. He thought he'll pay my fees with this money and make it away. Now at this point of time,i want you to know a little bit about me:
I am an introverted person.I was born with an unclear speech which till now is unclear.So i found no freinds but i like spending time with him and slowly started understanding him and got attached to him.pretty much.Then on,i didn't had much freinds.Just a few which i rarely met.
Now.jumping back to present, he got the job done.Now, he asked for money but he didn't recieved any. Now, the situation is:
' This man got betrayed by his own family, and he didn't recieved his salary ,so basically he didn't have any money in hand for next month cause he spent it all thinking they'll give it' .
He was devastated and started ignoring his health. His health began to worsen very much.
One day i was done with studies and when I slept ,it was around 5:00 AM in morning. I saw my father having a cardiac arrest in my dreams and dying right in spot. I woke up sweating and heated his voice and slept. Next morning, i was woken up by my brother's panic voice i woke up to see my father fainted right in hall. The moment it happened first of all i didn't believed it was a dream or real, after a few seconds I knew it was real. I called for help and tried to take him to hospital within 5 min, i called my mom and my brother said bring mom to hospital and went in car thanks to neighbours holding and supporting dad.
After 10 mins,we went there to find out he's no more. I was in complete shock, it was the last time i ever cried . I went to severe depression and sleepless nights, trying to avoid everything suffering alone. Because now, if i say i wanna die i don't wanna live,that women will automatically end up dying .
Somehow I came to 12th ,i thought I felt a little good but then cbse changed exam pattern to a rather uncomforting one. My teachers started mocking me,there was this one guy who pushed to the point wher i came home and started crying in bed,luckily no one was home. I somehow passed with 55% in +2. Then came a point where i wasn't able to clear any exam simply because i don't know anything due to my past experiences. I just had thoughts to die, sleepless night, and might have died also if not for that one freind.
I took drop and when I took it,i found out that jee main is happening in 2 months and i didn't have any knowledge of anything as you know nta was pretty controversial this year.
Then somehow I cleared jee main and hopefully I could get into any good goverment college. I didnt pushed further for iit as it was too much i beared already.
Lessons you can learn from this is: your board exams never define what you are,so, if your teachers say you can't do anything in life if you score bad, you can shut them up.
But that's not the issue,the issue is we put 3-4 years of study just to get an iit or nit tag, is it even worth it?...Thats an topic to discuss about in comment section in a decent way of you want to or a thought if you wish to sthink about later...
thank you for reading
© All Rights Reserved
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