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Stop emotional dependence.
Being emotionally dependent on another person is a difficult reality to face, and it can be even more difficult to overcome. It is often a result of the way you learned to attach to others as a child or relationship experiences youve had throughout your life. Chances are that if you are in an emotionally dependent relationship, it does not feel healthy or satisfying. It has likely stunted the relationship and/or impacted the mental health of yourself and the other person.
■ Signs that you are in an emotionally dependent relationship might include:
• You don’t leave the relationship despite the fact that this person continuously brings you unwanted feelings (sadness, anxiety, distress, pain).
• You do not want to end the relationship because you are terrified of being alone.
• You rarely spend time with friends, family, or other important others because you are constantly spending time with this person.
• You give up activities or hobbies you used to enjoy, in favor of spending time with this person.
• You find yourself getting jealous or angry when this person spends time with other people.
• You cannot imagine your life without this person.
• This is the only person who can make you feel better when you are sad or upset.
• This person’s mood significantly and consistently impacts the way you feel. For example, if this person is sad, you are sad. If this person if angry, you are angry. If this person is happy, you are happy.
It takes a certain amount of courage and bravery to face the reality of being emotionally dependent on another, and it takes a lot of time, energy, and hard work to overcome it. That said, once you do, you will likely find yourself feeling more in control of your life while also having healthier and more fulfilling relationships.
■ Here are six ways to stop emotional dependence:
1) Build an awareness of the dependence and explore where it comes from.
One of the first steps to overcoming emotional dependence is acknowledging that it exists and noticing the thoughts, feelings and behaviors you engage in that support it. You can also start working to understand the root cause and where it comes from. The saying “if you can name it, you can tame it” applies here, meaning, once you can identify where it comes from and when it’s happening, then you can start to do something about it. This is often what motivates clients to begin counseling because a therapist can help you further explore your patterns of dependence, build a deeper sense of awareness and empower you to make change.
2) Practice and tolerate being alone.
Tolerating being alone is going to be uncomfortable at first, especially if your pattern is to reach out as soon as you feel lonely. That said, the more you practice without giving into the urge to reach out, the easier it will become. Being able to be alone is important because you cannot depend on someone to ALWAYS be there. Additionally, it allows space for you to self-reflect and re-build your relationship with yourself.
3) Intentionally plan time to see other friends and engage in hobbies outside of the relationship.
A common behavior associated with emotional dependence is spending the majority of your time with one person while letting your other relationships and interests fall to the wayside. The problem with this is that you end up depending solely on one person to fulfill all of your needs, which is an impossible task. It’s important to have a number of people in your life that you can go to for support, fun, and enjoyment rather than just depending on one person. It’s also important to explore and pursue personal interests outside of the relationship so that when this person goes away you aren’t left feeling like you have nothing.
4) Work to accept your unwanted/vulnerable feelings.
It’s common to push away vulnerable emotions such as hurt, pain, sadness and disappointment. Suppressing these feelings may help in the short term but they almost always return, and often they return as even bigger/more intense emotions. Accepting that painful feelings exist allows for self-connection, self-understanding and healing.
5) Learn to nuture yourself.
If your friend or partner was crying, what would you say to them? Would you tell them to suck it up and move forward? Maybe (depending on the situation and your relationship), but probably not. Chances are you would listen, try to put yourself in their shoes, and offer support. If this same person was sick with the flu, you might bring them soup or offer to pick up their homework from school. Treat yourself the same way. If you are not feeling well, nuture yourself by treating yourself to some comfort food, a hot bath, or your favorite movie. If you are sad or feeling depressed, talk kindly to yourself. Learning to nuture yourself allows you to make friends with yourself and depend less on the person you are dependent on to take care of you.
6) Start advocating for your needs.
If you are emotionally dependent on someone, it’s common to compromise your own needs and wants in order to accommodate the other person because you are terrified of losing them. For example, you might be afraid that if you speak up they will get mad and leave you, so you keep quiet instead. The problem with this is that it leaves you feeling resentful and it deteriorates your self-respect. You may lose slight of who you are and what your needs are, leading you to have an unhealthy relationship with yourself. It’s important to be able to first identify what your needs are and then stand up for these needs. Once you start doing so you will begin to recognize that your needs are important and worthy of being met and you can start to rebuild your confidence and self-respect.
© yoursoul24
#writcowritingapp #relationship #inrpirations #stopemotionaldependence #lifestly #writingcommunity #writcoapp #bestcommunity #followforfollow #wrticostory #storywritings
■ Signs that you are in an emotionally dependent relationship might include:
• You don’t leave the relationship despite the fact that this person continuously brings you unwanted feelings (sadness, anxiety, distress, pain).
• You do not want to end the relationship because you are terrified of being alone.
• You rarely spend time with friends, family, or other important others because you are constantly spending time with this person.
• You give up activities or hobbies you used to enjoy, in favor of spending time with this person.
• You find yourself getting jealous or angry when this person spends time with other people.
• You cannot imagine your life without this person.
• This is the only person who can make you feel better when you are sad or upset.
• This person’s mood significantly and consistently impacts the way you feel. For example, if this person is sad, you are sad. If this person if angry, you are angry. If this person is happy, you are happy.
It takes a certain amount of courage and bravery to face the reality of being emotionally dependent on another, and it takes a lot of time, energy, and hard work to overcome it. That said, once you do, you will likely find yourself feeling more in control of your life while also having healthier and more fulfilling relationships.
■ Here are six ways to stop emotional dependence:
1) Build an awareness of the dependence and explore where it comes from.
One of the first steps to overcoming emotional dependence is acknowledging that it exists and noticing the thoughts, feelings and behaviors you engage in that support it. You can also start working to understand the root cause and where it comes from. The saying “if you can name it, you can tame it” applies here, meaning, once you can identify where it comes from and when it’s happening, then you can start to do something about it. This is often what motivates clients to begin counseling because a therapist can help you further explore your patterns of dependence, build a deeper sense of awareness and empower you to make change.
2) Practice and tolerate being alone.
Tolerating being alone is going to be uncomfortable at first, especially if your pattern is to reach out as soon as you feel lonely. That said, the more you practice without giving into the urge to reach out, the easier it will become. Being able to be alone is important because you cannot depend on someone to ALWAYS be there. Additionally, it allows space for you to self-reflect and re-build your relationship with yourself.
3) Intentionally plan time to see other friends and engage in hobbies outside of the relationship.
A common behavior associated with emotional dependence is spending the majority of your time with one person while letting your other relationships and interests fall to the wayside. The problem with this is that you end up depending solely on one person to fulfill all of your needs, which is an impossible task. It’s important to have a number of people in your life that you can go to for support, fun, and enjoyment rather than just depending on one person. It’s also important to explore and pursue personal interests outside of the relationship so that when this person goes away you aren’t left feeling like you have nothing.
4) Work to accept your unwanted/vulnerable feelings.
It’s common to push away vulnerable emotions such as hurt, pain, sadness and disappointment. Suppressing these feelings may help in the short term but they almost always return, and often they return as even bigger/more intense emotions. Accepting that painful feelings exist allows for self-connection, self-understanding and healing.
5) Learn to nuture yourself.
If your friend or partner was crying, what would you say to them? Would you tell them to suck it up and move forward? Maybe (depending on the situation and your relationship), but probably not. Chances are you would listen, try to put yourself in their shoes, and offer support. If this same person was sick with the flu, you might bring them soup or offer to pick up their homework from school. Treat yourself the same way. If you are not feeling well, nuture yourself by treating yourself to some comfort food, a hot bath, or your favorite movie. If you are sad or feeling depressed, talk kindly to yourself. Learning to nuture yourself allows you to make friends with yourself and depend less on the person you are dependent on to take care of you.
6) Start advocating for your needs.
If you are emotionally dependent on someone, it’s common to compromise your own needs and wants in order to accommodate the other person because you are terrified of losing them. For example, you might be afraid that if you speak up they will get mad and leave you, so you keep quiet instead. The problem with this is that it leaves you feeling resentful and it deteriorates your self-respect. You may lose slight of who you are and what your needs are, leading you to have an unhealthy relationship with yourself. It’s important to be able to first identify what your needs are and then stand up for these needs. Once you start doing so you will begin to recognize that your needs are important and worthy of being met and you can start to rebuild your confidence and self-respect.
© yoursoul24
#writcowritingapp #relationship #inrpirations #stopemotionaldependence #lifestly #writingcommunity #writcoapp #bestcommunity #followforfollow #wrticostory #storywritings
