After an hour of consoling and cajoling, Den finally got Bisar out of depression and he himself went out of Bisar's place and he went to his one bedroom apartment, once he had caved in comfortably, he turned the lights off and he lay down to sleep, but somehow sleep was not really reachable at the moment for him, he was hearing a cacaphony of voices inside his head, one was playing drums, one was rapping about mindless, senseless stuff, a girl was yapping about something silly, and old man was smoking a cigar and was mowing his lawn, "AARGH!", he turned the lights back on but nothing became better, the voices remained but it was like someone had just turned the volume a notch down........

As he buried his hand into his palms, memories flashed past, his mom and his dad's quarrels, the death of his grandpa, the death of his nanna, mom and dad's deaths on that flight, him and his sister living on welfare, his sister getting raped and killed in the BLM riots, him going to the rehabilitation centre etc...

All the trauma that he had been holding in for years had finally come out before his very own eyes.. He had been hiding this from even himself, none of his journals ever contained any remote hint of all this, but everything was just so unbelievable now that he had come to this, he had transformed his life and gotten admission in a reputed college, he had money to pay for college, but he still wasn't comfortable living life, all alone. He knew Ella loved him one way or another but the magnitude to which he loved her, she had no idea of that.

He couldn't really explain what it was like to sit there every...