ITS CROWDED

4:22AM.

I have been up since the time posted in my last rambling.

have you ever just truly given up on someone? to the point that not even anger pushes you when they do u wrong?

yea, I am getting that way.

I am terrified that I will stop feeling yet I dread feeling more.

makes sense?

what will my poems be like, empty?

I was gonna post a poem , picked out my image, words formed in my mind and I just couldn't.

it's not time yet.

you ever just question fate?
found myself doing that again, wondering why I suffer so much.

I have a story on here called BRUISED, it's actually a true story...I can't post the rest of it yet , not until I am certain the memories don't drown me.

it's not all bad in my head though, I feel better spiritually, needing that peace only The father can give me.

these ramblings are just my missteps as I find that peace.
I find writing my chaotic thoughts help a bit.

I talked to my best friend and my y close friend today, just venting, and when I hung up, I wonder if I burdened them, with the same fears.

Though they never let me feel that way purposefully or intentionally, the scars from the past tell me I am a bother.

I hate that voice that won't let me have good things.

everything is a process now, dealing with my mental health is one particular ride.


© C.Wynter