“Neon, uncle John is here. He wants to talk with you”
“I can’t. I’m busy.” He replied coldly.
“busy of what, loser?” this came from uncle John who just walk into Neon’s room without knocking.
“uncle, you can’t just walk into my room without permission. Its rude!”
Uncle John looked at him with a unsatisfying face and ignored him. “So loser… busy of what ?”
“It’s none of your business. Now.. please leave.” Asking his uncle to leave with a sullen face.
Sigh* “At least, don’t give me that face.” He took out a book from his suitcase and showed it to him. “ where is him?”. Neon adjust his sit and look at uncle John with a wanly face. “ He died a long time ago.”
“He’s not. He is just in front of me.. and now, that person is just wondering around not knowing what to do.”
“ Uncle, don’t judge my choice if you don’t understand my reason.” He turned around, avoid from looking too sad in front of his uncle. Uncle John stood as he took the book and threw it to him. The book hit his head hard. Neon yelled. “ Oww.. wha..why do you do that?!” Uncle John stay silent, and the look in his face shows that he is very disappointed.
Neon sat on the floor as he pick the book . “ My dream to become a writer is worthless. My father threw me away only because of this pitiful dream of mine. I was dreaming while my eyes is closing. I lose my family because of this worthless dream.” He let out a big sigh. He gripped the book as if the anger is running through his veins.
“ Then.. what am I ? A potato ?” Pocking him in the middle of his forehead. “ They want you to live the dream which is not yours and life is too short for doing the things you dislike.. soon you come to age and die. How can you rest in peace if you didn’t enjoy your life on earth?”
Neon kneel in front of him. “ I beg you, please leave. It is not as easy as it’s said. If I continue my dream I will lost my sister as well, the orphanage will take her away if I don’t take good care of her and I don’t want that. She is the only family I have left. I need to work where I can get enough money.” Hearing those words from Neon, who was once spirited and energetic made him feel very annoying. The anger inside him is dancing as if someone he hate the most has vanished into thin air. He gripped Neon’s collar “You don’t kneel!” He pushed him away and slapped him in his face. “You regret asked your sister to live with you? So you want your sister to live with your worthless father who only want his children to live by his dream ?!”
Neon didn’t reply anything. He keep his head low because he knew his father was a worthless old hag who always want things to go his way but seeing his only sister suffer from financial problems is a different level of pain.
Uncle John loosen his grip “ Look at what you achieved, Neon. The people loves your stories. Some of them are life lessons and it helped many people around the world. You may not realize it but you are saving people. They’re changed because of what you write in a piece of paper.” He let go of him and took the book from Neon’s hand. “My daughter changed because of you. She was saved from a world of full of darkness and loneliness voices. She always silently screaming in her head. But the day she read your book was the day she learn how to walk away from the things that hurt her, the things that trapped her in that world. Your book told her that. You book were the words she wanted to tell, but didn’t have the courage to do so. Now, I can understand my daughter a lil’ bit by just reading this.” While patting Neon’s head with the book. “ This is something my daughter cherished the most. Her mother, my lovely wife, your Aunt Lennie gave it to her as a present. This is a part of her life. She even brought it to sleep. The person who wrote the book which is a world to someone asked her to not give up but why is that person giving up now?”
“ That’s not me. That person died.” Neon said it with a crack voice.
Uncle John eyes shows that there’s a thousand of regrets in him but there’s little light hidden in those eyes full of regrets, a light of happiness. Is it because of his daughter he thought. “ Neon, when will you realized that you are hurting yourself ?”
“ I’m not, I’m perfectly fine. I never even once cried because of this. If you don’t believe me, you can ask my sister. Those sweet smile of mine was also the reason of her smile, how can I not be happy?” He said with an expressionless face.
“Smiles isn’t always the sign of happiness, because even tears can mean unspoken happiness while the fake smile are just a silent pain.” This came from his sister who accidently heard their conversation. “ Neon, you never smile like before.”
“ Neon, you are the cause of your sister grave face .” while showing him a sly smile. “ Sometimes you can hurt yourself more than anyone can hurt you, just by keeping all your feelings hidden. And plus.. you are hurting your sister feelings as well. She always thought that she was a burden for you..”
“ She’s not!”
“ You made her feel that way. She secretly applied a part time job to help you carry a bit of that burden you’re carrying. All she wants is to bring back the old you. The one who showed many expression, a pleading, a dreamy, a doleful sometimes, a curious face with the brightest smile and a bug-eyed person. Just a person with feelings. Unlike the you now, the expressionless you.”
“ I’m not sure.” The feeling of wanting to give up is running inside him. There’s a whisper, always whispering in his head told him to give up and move forward.
“of what?” He asked
“ Whether I want to be the old me or just stay like this. I receive more money now than before. I just need to work even harder to get the life my sister dream of. I want her to dream while her eyes open.” He said with a smooth voice and a smile that hid a thousand of pain. Suddenly he heard a sobbing voice came from the direction where his sister was standing. When he turned, it’s his sister kneeling with tears on her face, falls to the ground. Kneeling and hitting herself. It’s an expression he never seen since a long time ago. All he wants to do is to make her sister happy. But beside from her happy, he make her feel miserable instead. Seeing her like that make himself as worthless as his father. His feet suddenly shaking and his body felt like it’s moving by itself. He ran to her and hugged her tightly.
“ I promised to mother that I will never cry like this again. Because she knew how hurt will you become if you see me like this but I can’t stand it anymore. Am I a burden to you?” she said as she cried.
“You never were. I’m sorry for hurting you, Tara.” He brushed his finger across her cheek. “ ..but I am a lil’ bit happy seeing you like this, its been a long time since I see you cry. The last time you cried were the day where our mother gave her last breath… at least you are not like the expressionless me.”
Uncle John walk toward them. “ So you already decide?”
“ No, still not sure.”
Uncle John pat his shoulder. “ Neon, when you’re not sure. Flip a coin. Because when the coin is in the air, you’ll realize which you were hoping for.” He hand him the book. “ The title of this book is ‘Get up!’. It’s as if you are asking her to get up.”
“ I am. In fact I am asking whoever reading this to get up.”
“Then, when will you get up. When will the writer itself get up?”
He took the book and turned to the last page. There was a quote written there. It said, ‘ it’s okay for you to fall down and lose your spark. Just make sure if you get back up, you rise as the whole damn fire.’
He stood and went to his desk. He switched on his computer where he used to write his stories before. But then he felt nothing. He has nothing in mind and it made him disappointed in his self. “I can’t write anymore.”
“ You can’t?..... Now tell me Neon. Why do you write?”
“Uncle I can’t..” before he could even finish, Uncle john cut him off. “ can’t what? Can’t become the old you? Neon, all beautiful things are made from effort . You used to always asked yourself ‘ why do you write ’ and that’s the only question that keep you going. So Neon, try walk slowly but never walk backwards.. lift your head up and ask yourself why do you write. Is it for money? Is it for your father satisfaction?”
…..
“I ..I write because.. because I want to inspire people . I want someone to look at me and say ‘..because of you I didn’t give up.’ I write because I like the comments. Yes, some of them are negative but some of them are just something that stays in my heart and keep me going on to look forward with it. I write because those words from my mind, those things I experience are the reason for someone happiness, and it’s a good change for them. And it is also because I love writing. It was there with me since the day I exist in this world. Yes it does make me alone but it doesn’t make me lonely. I .. I can reach them.. I can reach their heart. The sadness, the anger, the regrets, the happiness, the loneliness, the joy..all of those feelings, are in one book, in a piece of paper. And that’s the reason why I write, I want to reach them.” The feeling he felt right now is the feeling he long sought, the feeling he waited a long time to reappear. The feeling of everlasting happiness.
“ It’s good to have you back, brother.”
Uncle John reached for the book her daughter cherish the most . “ I’m taking this with me, or else she will kill me. And from now on I will take care of you and your sister. And.. your book ‘ who am I’ was published last month. There were already 257 copy sold. It will be the best-selling book.”
Hearing that made him shock along with her sister. Their face showed him that they were overjoyed. “Of course you don’t know since you’ve been shutting yourself from the world, loser. And .. your money is more than enough for the both of you. Pack your stuff I’ll be taking you tomorrow evening.”
He left the room as soon as he finished. He turned around and saw the both of them hugging each other with tears shed.
With a smile on his face he whispered “ I’m done”



“ That’s a pain right, O’neil ?”
“ It really is. It’s suck that you have to keep yourself busy too feel okay.”
“ That’s a pretty well saying there huh. This story I just read.. dangg, I’m touch (sob).. it’s as if I’m the one who is feeling it.”
“ Yeah I understand you well enough. I think the author experienced this.”
“ Well,,.. who knew. But happiness is a choice, not a result.Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No one will make you happy unless you decide to be happy. Your happiness will come to you, it will only come from you.”
“ well said.. but.. what I believe is that.. everyone were born with the ability to make others happy. And I think that Uncle John already make good use of his ability.”
“ His Uncle is the savior. But for the both of ‘em.. they need survived darkness for the sun to rise inside them. And they did..”
“ They totally did, Luthor.”


“ If you stand for a reason, be prepared to stand like a tree ,if you fall to the ground, fall like the seed that grow back to fight again.”