My wife and I are going through a divorce and I went over to her house trying to sort our joint possessions.

"Okay, sweetheart, since the court awarded you the house and the barn. We have six lawn chairs and I'm taking half of them."

Also, some of the folding tables, I'm taking my tools, and the loveseat. Cuz, I sure don't want anybody making love to you on my love seat!

(I look around for more things, we lived on a farm and had some barnyard animals.)

"Let's see, I need at least 50 head of cows, 15 horses, oh, and around 30 chickens and ducks."

Hmm...

Oh yeah, and my dog Rex of course. "Here boy, come over here you mutt, you mangy critter..."
Okay, I need the dog house and the 50 lb bag of dog food.

Yeah, the divorce court ordered that I get half of the heavy farming equipment.

"You can have have all the adult toys."

Except for the penis enhancer!

"That's all I need..."

"Wait!"

(I glance at my wife's body)

"Didn't I buy those boobies?"

She said, "Well honey, yes you did." What about it? I said, "Sarah, I brought them big boobies, you can't have them!"

Sarah said, "Keith, what's wrong with you, are you crazy!"

(Still staring at her, I notice a dragon tatoo under her...