There’s been this emphasis in the spiritual and self-help community for a very long time on being positive, on thinking positive thoughts, and always having a positive attitude. And while this seems like a great idea, I get the impression that many of us don’t really understand it. And naturally, many people have a great deal of difficulty living up to that ideal. So what exactly does positive thinking entail, and how can we successfully shift into that mindset ?

It’s very easy to be happy and positive when everything is going your way. But what about when it’s not? The reality is that life is a mixture of fortunate and unfortunate events. There can be all kinds of challenges and difficulties, disasters and disappointments. And with all that comes anger and sadness, anxiety, depression, frustration and resentment. So how do we deal with these emotions? And is there a way instead to respond to those situations with a positive attitude?

Somehow we’ve gotten the idea that in order to be spiritual we have to be positive all the time. And by positive, what we often mean is that we no longer have any negative thoughts or emotions. It means always being in a good mood, always happy and smiling, constantly radiating peace and tranquility.

But if we do have these negative thoughts and emotions, what do we do with them? Do we simply deny them, suppress them, bury them deep down and pretend they aren’t there? Do we just put on a smile and act as though it’s all love and light even when deep down we’re scared, miserable, anxious, angry and so on? Because I get the impression that’s what a lot of people are trying to do, and it’s not really working. In fact, it’s probably making matters worse.

I meet people all the time who wear this false persona of positivity, and it’s really very easy to see through. But more than that, it creates more problems than it resolves.

There was one person in particular who I spent some time with, who was always going on about the importance of being positive. And, let me tell you, this was one of the most negative-minded people I have ever had the displeasure of associating with. But the problem was that they were the only person who couldn’t see it. They thought that they were fooling the whole world, but really they were only fooling themselves. And they we’re creating a lot of unnecessary drama as a result.

So, to give an example, this person would often express their belief that negative thoughts attract negative circumstances. And there is some truth to that, which perhaps I’ll discuss another time. But this particular person was deeply afraid of causing that sort of thing to happen, and so if anyone said anything that could be even slightly interpreted as a negative statement, this person would become very upset, sometimes even enraged. I recall, for example, simply mentioning the possibility of there being rain in the forecast, and this person got so angry with me, and said that if it rains it’s going to be my fault because I put that negative vibration out into the universe.

There was also an occasion when I was in a car with this person, and they were driving, and something I said was not taken well and this person became very angry and started yelling at me. And I didn’t understand why at the time, but I later came to realize that they had a tendency to be very anxious and frustrated when driving, and on top that they were overwhelmed with a personal difficulty in their private life.

So, it really wasn’t anything I had said. It was simply the...