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A wallflowers memoir
I wanna fudge you up!
There is something sensational about that senstence. It's soft and it doesn't come across as ill-intenetioned at all. I wanna fudge you up...
Either way, I get this image in my head of my latest visitor rolling around in soft fudge, giggling at our childlike sillieness, not being able to contain ourself from tasting the sweets. Who can resist fudge? I certainly can't!
Words intruige me and make me wanna play around with them in my head. I wanna connect the words to the images in my head. They always said I had a very big imagination.
-"You're a little too dramatic, girl!"
They aren't seeing things from my perspective.
You see green and I see all the colours that makes it green.
May be that I process details that in a larger scale doesn't make one bit of difference to anyone else but myself.
It may be that I often find a sidetrack, the story of my life and get completly lost in it.
With the ability to zoom in, zoom out i would be a perfectly healthy normal human being..
That's the thing.
You dont get to choose. You are what you are. If I had it my way I'd be a reporter or editor writing columns for new york times but insanity, addictions and illness got the better of me. Literally spent the last 15 year in solitude, healing a very hurt and wounded heart, trying to find that sparkle in my eye.
The humour and lightness in my walk. Had way to many chits and chats with myself.
Sometimes drunk out of my mind
At times I got visits from the other side. They used to speak to me in my dreams but now more often than not, they conversate directly to me, with images and words.
It forced me promptly to write poetry.
Just to find an outlet to release the energy because it gets hefty to carry all those energies around after awhile, not knowing what to make of it.
See, darkness always followed me like a shadow.
I couldn't bare to drag anyone down with me in my messy puddle of mudd. Solitude for 15 years- that's when you realise all of your strenght to be resiliente, never dependant on anyone. Who you are- the only one to accept and love your company - is you, and all of those visitors from the other side, ofcourse. I am glad they aren't to picky with the way I decorate my home or is about to lick my floors...
...to be continued
© Shar
There is something sensational about that senstence. It's soft and it doesn't come across as ill-intenetioned at all. I wanna fudge you up...
Either way, I get this image in my head of my latest visitor rolling around in soft fudge, giggling at our childlike sillieness, not being able to contain ourself from tasting the sweets. Who can resist fudge? I certainly can't!
Words intruige me and make me wanna play around with them in my head. I wanna connect the words to the images in my head. They always said I had a very big imagination.
-"You're a little too dramatic, girl!"
They aren't seeing things from my perspective.
You see green and I see all the colours that makes it green.
May be that I process details that in a larger scale doesn't make one bit of difference to anyone else but myself.
It may be that I often find a sidetrack, the story of my life and get completly lost in it.
With the ability to zoom in, zoom out i would be a perfectly healthy normal human being..
That's the thing.
You dont get to choose. You are what you are. If I had it my way I'd be a reporter or editor writing columns for new york times but insanity, addictions and illness got the better of me. Literally spent the last 15 year in solitude, healing a very hurt and wounded heart, trying to find that sparkle in my eye.
The humour and lightness in my walk. Had way to many chits and chats with myself.
Sometimes drunk out of my mind
At times I got visits from the other side. They used to speak to me in my dreams but now more often than not, they conversate directly to me, with images and words.
It forced me promptly to write poetry.
Just to find an outlet to release the energy because it gets hefty to carry all those energies around after awhile, not knowing what to make of it.
See, darkness always followed me like a shadow.
I couldn't bare to drag anyone down with me in my messy puddle of mudd. Solitude for 15 years- that's when you realise all of your strenght to be resiliente, never dependant on anyone. Who you are- the only one to accept and love your company - is you, and all of those visitors from the other side, ofcourse. I am glad they aren't to picky with the way I decorate my home or is about to lick my floors...
...to be continued
© Shar
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