addiction.

living as a addict is not easy
none of it is fun
it's traumatic
losing everything
and everyone
homelessness most cases
not knowing where you'll sleep
how you'll eat
and on top of it
doing things you aren't proud of to afford your habit
by the time you know it
your feral
having no structure or normal activities
changes you to turn into a person you don't know anymore
making it hard to be around normal people
or them being not wanting to be near you
on top of it
most addicts are extremely fucked up
so your constantly dealing with people taking everything you got
not giving two shits if your left for dead
just take take take
and people who don't understand addiction
being just as fucked up to you
you eventually end up in jail
with a criminal record
your child(ren)
ripped from you
causing crippling sadness
you get stuck in the same habit
it's almost impossible to get away
you can hardly live with yourself because the choices you made
knowing that even if you did get clean
nothing would ever be the same
like before you became a addict
and it's hard to become successful
with barriers you regretfully built on top of that chemical inbalance making life unappealing and unsatisfing

most people think addicts are out having the time of there life, being high, not giving two shits. like a whole bunch of children in Chuckie cheese running rampid.

fuck no

it's the closest thing to living in hell

it's not ever a choice we chose to choose

like that random line at a party you snorted would have ever sealed your fate forever

did it ever cross your mind you'd turn into a junkie?

no.

never.

no biggie, it wouldn't be anything but a momentary escape from the hurt you were feeling

and now "a" ... turns into "addiction" ?

just like that?

no ...

it happens like little bad habit, like not brushing your teeth enough to never brushing, or eating more than usual to thus finding yourself in the mirror, not even recognizing the reflection looking back at you...

it didn't happen over night...

it's too many sad days, too many unchangeable problems, too many things over laping in time

ends in this...

especially when you choose to surround yourself with toxic people

only caring people show you healthier ways too cope.

then instead of going to a party to get faded after a bad break up to start that negative ripple in your life

you end up spending a movie night with your loving friend and crying over icecream.

environment means everything

and good people

addiction most times doesn't happen if your in a positive environment.

the best advice I can give anyone so you can learn through my mistakes instead of making the same bad decision yourself is to

only settle for people in your life that CARE. that is your foundation to your home, the quality of people you have in your life makes the safest structure to keep you safe.

it doesn't matter whether years of friendship, or so many similar likes, or even your very own blood, if it is toxic, you gotta rid toxicity from your life.

because in the end, you only have control of your own self and decisions.

not other people's poor choices that could and would also affect you.

because like Ill always say,

birds of a feather, flocks together.