It’s been said “Defeat begins with one’s fear” and I guess it’s factual .I lost when I feared. And that’s the problem . There is no time of year in which I wasn’t afraid. It can be “ Not hitting the first rank in class” it can be “Struggle of my parents to give me a luxurious life” or it can be “Not being praised by someone for doing something extraordinary, or losing and then facing parents.” There were so many things ,I was afraid of. I never had a proper motivation from someone. It was always a “What will you do in future” threat note.
But now I get it. You don't need to compare yourself to others, do what you wanna do. In this way, the mistakes, you make, than you have to blame yourself, not others. Also you will learn easily from your mistakes.
So never lose hope or giveup on anything you dearly want. It's better to struggle a bit for your desire than to be quite , doing nothing and seeing fading away your wants and needs you wished for.

© Hyejin