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SUICIDE
No human in his/her natural state of mind contemplates suicide.

Naturally, we all possess very active survival instincts that are responsible for both reflexive and willful reactions to danger.

Nobody wants to die by any means, let alone by their own hands.
Whenever a person dies by way of suicide, there's more to it than meets the eye, irrespective of whatsoever reasons they may advance for opting out of life.

Most times, the things we say at the instance of yet another suicide story mean absolutely nothing to the next victim. There is a point at which those things are hardly capable of preventing a depressed person from going all the way with suicide.
We say things like "he/she should have talked to someone", "he/she shouldn't have giving up on life", "when you commit suicide, you only transfer the pain to those left behind."
Some people say very silly stuffs like: "only cowards go for the suicide option", and surprisingly, others find a way to make fun of it.

We have been approaching this matter wrongly, trying to pluck leaves, while watering the roots at the same time - with our negligence or outright selfishness.
Whenever anyone takes his/her life, every other person who is alive is to blame, especially those who knew the victim personally.

I'd tell you why.

It takes a long time for a human being to arrive at that point where he/she takes his/her own life. It involves a whole lot.
The long process starts when depressing thoughts cross the mind; and proceeds when such thought linger. At this point, the person involved can trace his/her steps, even without help from someone else.
This is the point where genuine conversations, counselling and therapy can help, but we hardly pay sufficient attention to the unspoken words of folks around us.
And even when people speak up, we despise them for giving into depression.
Soon, the depressed person (DP) begins to hear strange voices in his/her head.
Initially, the voices reinforce those thoughts that led the DP into a depressed state. Here, the DP can still be helped by someone else, especially one who's been through such a condition before.

The thing is, once a DP begins to hear voices, the condition is out of his/her hands. At that point, it's gone beyond the physical, and a dark supernatural force has taken over.
That force begins to control the thoughts and actions of a DP, and soon, it infuses the consideration of suicide, portraying it as the only way to gain total freedom from all the issues that make the DP depressed.
At this point, you can hardly help a DP who's become suicidal, save by supernatural means.

It is better to prevent the process from kicking off in the first place, or at least addressing it at the point where depression begins to set in.
In our world today where people hardly care genuinely for each other, suicide is inevitable.

We are all about such businesses that promote our personal interests, neglecting other people along the line.
Technology makes things worse, doing away with real, heartfelt communication.

People die in silence, finding no one to talk to. It gets too late when a dark supernatural force takes over the mind of a DP.
It surely drives to the end of suicide, if help doesn't come quickly.

What do you do when a lively friend suddenly begins to withdraw? You are most likely to think they must be "forming", not knowing they may actually be set on the path of death; and just a simple conversation could go a long way to help them retrace their steps.

We treat depression too lightly in our part of the world; and since society either doesn't regard depression as an issue worth any time at all, or stereotypically regards DP as weak persons, they hardly seek help, so as to avoid mockery and disdain.

You may never understand the condition of a DP, if you've never worn their shoes. You can help out anyway, with simple, genuine conversations, devoid of accusations and indifference towards their plight.

Call that friend or family member you've not talked with in a while. Enquire about their wellbeing and let them know whether or not you're fine. You could save someone, or be saved thereby.

End that “beef” today, live and let live.
Talk to that “withdrawn” person around you today. You may snatch them from the path of death, and save us all from the guilt of losing yet another one of us to suicide.

We all need shoulders to lean on. We all need friends, or at least someone to talk to.

I have not written these things merely on account of my studies on this matter; I wrote as an ex-victim of depression, who was helped off the path of death.

© Ogbole Agala