As years passed, when everything seemed to have changed, the gaze struck me again. Taking an eternity, slowly and softly, it made me realize that it wasn't the gaze I had neglected at first.
It was the hidden gaze that was neglected with thoughts of false attraction on beauty.
It was the gaze I had longed for unknowingly, since I had felt it.
It was the gaze that made me fall for another gaze, hoping to find the truth someday but stayed misled.
It was the lost gaze that still invoked a beat in me whenever something turned up resembling it.
Yet, it was still wound so deep and innate in me that I could only realize after rainbow years.

I had become master of my heart and mind over these years. I say Master, because the commanding belongs to only myself. I had overrided all that my heart and mind needed to convey. I took in-charge as the Master as I wanted everything to be pure and rightly led.

When people say the mind can misleed you, now I get it that I had misled my mind. I had robbed it of its truthful, soulful yearning with my considerations of imaginations.

I had now robbed my heart of the place that it deserved. Could an unnoticed, latent ego be the cause for all my suffering now? How come it went unrealized through numerous rounds? My belief was that the soul was me. How could it be proved wrong?

Yes, but shockingly, even after a garden of pleading attempts, only that gaze proved the reality to me. The belief was wrong. The soul wasn't me. The soul was love.

Now, my soul is struck frozen. Bereft of words. Bereft of thoughts. Bereft of hope. Bereft of good. Bereft of action. Bereft of destiny.

How could one hope to believe myself again? When every decision was now destined to be unrightful, when no knowledge on earth was meant for you, when no hope was left unshattered, when every light was now gone, when everyone had left you alone for no reason, wondering hell and earth why you were left alone.

Flora continues to think deeply about these, while leaves interwine onto the yard. This isn't the first time she doesn't notice these happening. It has been a while. As the night sets in a world of thundering, Flora's gaze is set onto her heart and mind, which are now freed completely from her captivity.

Her desire to merge into one has now manifested in herself. The gaze gave herself back to her. The gaze showed her the truth she was yearning for years. The gaze lifted the veils of illusion and ego, which she believed to have been broken long before.

Flora stands stuttering, stumbling and freezing in the winter night. She had been in a different world till this age. There she did not stumble, everything flowed naturally. The sadness cut into the depth of the ocean such that the flow was not meant to be as smooth crossing this wild fall.


#TheMeltingWorld

© TheSun