Would of understood if I was violent at time myself .
I should of seen the signs,
maybe was a diversion from where I lived at time.
I did nothing to deserve it.
I begged you to stop.
while hands tight round my throat
I had only wished there had been a knife or tool in reach . self defence or manslaughter for me ,I would do the time.
I had a punch or slap and the rest of assault that followed ,
although literally hard to swallow,
assertively I said:
death and prison don't scare me.
he told me I was brave.
as he continued I had to stop fighting for familys sake.
a death of a daughter early be hard for a mother to take .
when I finally escaped,
black mail was tried tried to take his own life but think that was a lie.started to make plans to put lit firework through letterbox at time, that would be justice!
but moral conscious said NO to many others in building ,
shrink looked at my plan and uped my dose.
got moved and filtered through the systems and services. and now dating sites and alot of social media can leave me alone.

#assalt #abuse #narcisist #ill #sickness #blackmail #emotionalabuse #learntbehaviour #shutdown #longstandingptsd

Nov 2023
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