Memorial Note

Someone should have told me,  given me a heads up that when you lose a loved one.
You lose your self a bit
You lose your character at the breaking of the news
You lose touch with reality
You lose your sense of calm
That your heart will literally be the epitome of confusion.
Beating fast and taking slow beats too.
That you lose touch with belief.  You just want to see to believe.
That once you see you turn into a real believer and cannot unsee what you saw. You just can't forget.
That one day even after years you will wake up and feel like it just happened and you literally feel your heart ripping into pieces.
That the funny would happen in you taking the horrid moments you shared with that person in for something precious.
That some day you will run into some random that looks like them and it will give you the chills
That losing them to death erases no history just a future without them.
That I will be nothing like sam Smith for I'm not good at these kind of goodbye's,  I will keep yearning to pull an Adele and say hello.
That the words 'I miss you deeply' would be so loud and mean so much more.
That even if I am to be told and given that heads up it will still mean nothing for death is so good at sneaking up on people
That I would live  true to the saying : ' Life goes on
That I will smile,  genuinely after everything but it won't mean I have forgotten them.


Dee Enne