I had a dream of Mera and I dancing in a field of grass and flowers. We were wearing mint green dresses. I seemed so happy and so at peace but Mera had a sad look in her eyes. I woke up shortly after that dream I still think about it and something about it is bothering me.

My mother was always pressuring me to find a boyfriend. My mother met my father in highschool there were highschool sweethearts. I always claimed that I'm focusing on school wean my mother asks why I didn't have a boyfriend but I thought it's something else keeping me from having one. Boys are.. interesting and some are attractive but I don't know if I whold date a boy.

Mera kissed me once and it felt natrual and correct to me but my mother always told me that that's wrong and disgusting. I feelt broken since I didn't feel a lot of attraction towards boys. I feelt gross since I wanted to kiss Mera again and I wanted to hold her in my arms. I shouldn't have been feeling that way it's wrong and unatrual.

I had another dream of me crying and standing on a rooftop. Mera was there and she was crying aswell and was begging me to come down she was wearing a mint green dress. I didn't listen to her and I slowly fell of the rooftop to my death. The dream felt so real but I don't remember waking up from the dream.

I think I'm dead.