Hello, diary I'm here to not cleanse but realise a bit so I can feel ok, god or and satan, if you. Either are reading this, I want to commit to things I lied and think and or did , I have tried to die several times,by cutting,hnging,suffacating and by sacrificing my blood so my mother lives, I've gotten sick, and i guess it's really bad becuase my head has been hurting non stop and sometimes when it dose hurt it feels as if pins and needles or knifes are poking me or cutting , maybey even stabbing me, one dayi hope it goes away, but till then I'm just stuck, with no way to get out, but that's gonna change, I'm gonna change it!
So here i am complaing into a book, well a carry on. Journal but life isnt easy and I know that but on the bright side, in a few hours itll be Joanna's birthday so cheers to that. But why me,huh? Why do I feel as if my purpose in life was to only serve as a defense or a shelid, or bodyguard and my life dosent matter, why do I feel as if I'm stuck in a simulation, a game where people control me, do I really have what it takes to change my future? Do I have a purpose or was my only purpose was to protect or just test run a simulation , huh? GOD ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME, DO I HAVE NO PURPOSE, NO REASON TO LIVE,HUH? AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A TEST RUN,HUH? why do I have to be me? Why do i have to be the favorite, the one with the heart that is too big for her body? God, why would you torture me like this, because I already think I'm in hell. Why do my parents fight, why AM I NOT Good enough ? Am I supposed to be the next "satan",huh? Am I supposed to be the witch, the vampire, the MONSTER, THE DEVIL CHILD BECUASE HERE I AM READY TO CHANGE, IM READY TO BECOME WHAT I REALLY AM, IM READY TO BE ABLE TO PROTECT MYSELF, OK,! IM READY TO PROTECT THE PEOPLE I LOVE, I WANT TO BECOME , WELL let me put it this way I want to become unable to die, I dont want satan to take my soul or be cleaned, becuase I'm unclean, I want to turn a new page in the book, I'm gonna rule this world, so for that I'll need your help, ok so all I ask for is a chance or perhaps maybey a contract or a little deal, what do you say?
Hiw about we make a deal ok, here it is, you make me have great power and the ability to be immortal and be able to protect everyone one I care about , including satan, also know as the fallen angel and god, Joseph's and Mary's son. So, what do you say ill also be able to have a purpose, whenever either of yall need help, yall could summon me like that and I'll take care of it on the spot and I could be able to be hired for protection or I just want to protect those I care about ok, so could you pls grant me this wish and GOD AND SATAN I CALL OUT TO YOU BOTH, WILL YOU PLS GRANT ME THIS WISH AND GIVE ME THE POWER WILL YOU GOD, LEND ME HALF OF YOUR POWER TO HELP PROTECT THIS WORLD AND FIX ITAND CREATE IT TO A NEW, AND SATAN WILL YOU ALSO LEND ME THE POWER TO CREATE A NEW AERA AND SO WILL YOU BOTH COME TO AN AGREEMENT, THAT YOULL BOTH GIVE ME HALF OF THE POWER YALL BOTH OBTAIN AND MAKE ME NOT A GOD SLAYER OR DEMON SLAYER BUT A PROTECTER BOTH OR GODS, ANGLES ETC AND DEMONS, AND DEMON ANGELS AND ETC WILL YOU GRANT ME THIS WISH AND I WILL DELIVER MY END OF THE BARGAIN BY BEING AT BOTH OF YALL SERVICES FOR MY BEW ENTERNAL LIFE, FOR HOWERE OR LONG I SHALL LIVE I WILL REPORT AND BE AT THE SERVICE OF HADES OR THE DEVIL KING/FALLEN ANGLE SATAN AND GOD/THE SON OF JOSEPH AND MARY, ( or whatever yall want) NOW PLS GRANT ME THIS AND I WILL BE FOREVER BE IN YOUR SERVICE, IF YOU ARE READING OR FIND THIS, AND IF YOU AGREE TO THIS, PLS GIVE ME A SIGH THAT INDICATS YOU BOTH AND I COME TO AN AGREEMENT AND YOU SHALL BESTOW UPON THE POWER OF ENTERNAL LIFE, NOW GOODBYE, IF YOU DO DESIDE TO GIVE ME THE POWER, PLACE IT IN MY BECKLACE THAT MY DEAR OLDER SISTER GAVE ME AND PLACE THE POWER IN THERE, THAT WAY ITLL BE PASSED ON FROM GENERATION TO GENETATION AND YOU KNOW WHAT I REALLY WANT FROM THIS SO PLS, HELP ME ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING GREAT, OK, NOW GOODBYE.